merry christmas!

LJ account

2007-03-19T23:27:00.000+08:00

http://juliereyes.livejournal.com/

that's my lj. yehey.

stalling

2007-03-19T22:27:00.000+08:00

i hate this feeling. dread. i'm dreading the load ahead. ok, actually it's right here, right fucking in front of me. the pile of research papers waiting to be read is staring back at me. it's just there, sitting idly on my desk, and i'm just here, sitting idly on my chair (well not really, i'm typing this). sheeeet. ayoko. make it stop! make it stop! (or make me start, make me start). anyway, i'll start in 30 minutes.

i just created an lj (i feel so cool calling it lj) account. i might choose that over blogger if it feels right. and right now, it doesn't. ang bagal. hasel. hindi ko pa ma-figure out yung body part (part that contains the body of the entry). ok, apparently, it isn't fully loaded yet.

we had our first GA as execom this afternoon. this was for the turnover. the prom theme won, yehey. i can't wait to organize everything (as a matter of fact, i'm not waiting. i didn't even wait for the org to decide on the theme, i just started my research out of boredom and obsession).

this is so weird. i'm actually simultaneously writing an entry on my lj too. i am very odd. and very much in denial of what i have to do. i'll finish this off and go to my lj (did you notice the number of times i said lj in this entry? it's ridiculous). lj.

* ****

2007-03-17T23:34:00.002+08:00

Lord, Kayo na bahala.

* ****

2007-03-17T23:34:00.001+08:00

Lord, Kayo na bahala.

wow

2007-03-08T01:29:00.000+08:00

wow. you got me mad. and i never get mad. iba ka rin. ang lagay ba eh magtitiisan nalang tayo?
grabe talaga. may isang tao, itago nalang natin siya sa ngalang picolo (i don't know. it feels right. haha) na matapang ang hiya. ang lakas pa huminga. sobrang ayoko nun, yung malakas huminga, yung naririnig ko yung pagdaloy ng hangin at paggasgas nito sa butas ng ilong niya. painful eh. hovering over me while i'm doing my job (something you wouldn't understand). lech. sana man lang nilakilakihan mo yung butas ng ilong mo, or tinanggalan mo ng clutter para maayos yung pagpasok ng hangin, walang ingay. but no, naririnig ko. at naiinis ako. bukod sa panggugulo mo sa'kin gamit ang mapanggambala mong hininga, hindi ka pa marunong magtrabaho. wow talaga. alam ko namang nakukunsensya ka, pero hindi kasi nakukuha sa kunsensya yun eh. lalo na kay ivy. maling mali. ok lang sana kung nagalit mo si ivy, magagalitin yun. pero ako, bez, ako. hindi na nga ako nagagalit eh. but no, talagang sinubok mo ang aking pasensya. ima get u biyatch.

i want cubao shawarma. dalawa, please. ay shet. gab's leaving for the states on friday. i'll miss gab. i don't get to see my high school friends anymore. i miss them.

lech

2007-03-07T00:29:00.000+08:00

nakakatawa lang, kasi kanina, we did our baseline control study for 115. you know what happened? nothing. as in nothing of value to our experiment. as a matter of fact, we'll redo the whole thing tomorrow. we won't use the data we got from our 20 participants. shete.

80 minutes with 80 alumnae

2007-02-07T22:22:00.000+08:00

last saturday, i got a text from sir fermin, an invitation to go back to miriam and "inspire" the girls with a talk. that was soooo random. i'm not even remotely associated with "inspiring" but with the prospect of free food (and knowing miriam's obsession with good impressions, other free things), i got convinced by jb to go.

so tuesday, we went to miriam and we were kinda late (some things never change). but we came just in time for the flag ceremony. awww... my first flag ceremony in a loooong time. yun palang eh, sumesentipede na kami ni jb. there was a parade of the alumnae with the class presidents (well not really, we just walked down the flag pole path), and it's very obvious how my school's changed since i last contributed to its finacial growth. three floors na ang new building! samantalang when i first entered mchs, empty lot lang yung kinakatayuan ng building ngayon. tapos may flat screen tv sa labas ng admin building (which i heard was put there just minutes before the alumnae came. hahaha. iba ka talaga sir fermin). oh and ms. ribo will now be known as mrs. ramons, mother of one. shet.

i can't believe i almost backed out (i couldn't get out of bed). it was fun. i love my school.

getting rid of stuff that shouldn't be there

2007-02-03T17:52:00.000+08:00

i'm listening to the songs in my ipod, all of them, for the first time. i started with the first song (1,2 step by ciara) and i plan to go through all of them this week. i want to delete the songs i don't want there. i had this realization when i listened to this song by azure (i don't even know who he is or if that's a band) also for the first time, and it was sick. not good sick, but just sick. it's so painfully emo. emo pop is ok by my standards, r&b emo is just carrot. i don't want it in my life ever.

then i shall proceed to getting rid of clothes i don't use, then to readings that will forever remain unread, then to the shit that currently shroud my monitor and printer.

there's just too much clutter.

i'm scared

2007-02-03T16:48:00.001+08:00

i'm scared 'cause i just got a text that read, "natigil na ang iyong Globe UNLITXT. Pra muling mkapag-unlimited Globe-Globe texting, txt UNLITXT20, UNLITXT40, UNLITXT80 to 2870". it was from .unlimitxt, 2870. for the first time, i actually read the message. i never knew .unlimitxt did shorttxt. i always thought it typed the words complete like i do. i'm scared. i don't know what i'll do without unlimitxt. unlimitxt is gone; it's been replaced by some obscure unlitxt being.

passive-aggressive

2007-01-28T02:25:00.000+08:00

You know what's a crying shame? i'm a psych major and i just found out what passive-aggressive is a few minutes ago when i decided to google it (using yahoo). now i think i have it. according to wetzler, a passive aggressive man (woman) has:

*FEAR OF DEPENDENCY - Unsure of his autonomy
&
afraid of being
alone, he fights his dependency needs - usually by
trying to
control you.
*FEAR OF INTIMACY -
Guarded &
often mistrusful, he is reluctant to show
his emotional
fragility. He's
often out of touch with his feelings,
reflexively
denying feelings he thinks
will "trap" or reveal him, like
love. He
picks fights to create distance.
*FEAR OF
COMPETITION -
Feeling inadequate, he
is unable to compete with
other men in work and
love. He may operate either
as a self-sabotaging
wimp with a pattern of
failure, or he'll be the tyrant,
setting himself
up as unassailable and perfect,
needing to eliminate any
threat to his
power.
*OBSTRUCTIONISM - Just tell
a
p/a
man what you want, no matter how small, and he may promise to get it
for
you. But he won't say when, and he'll do it deliberately slowly just to
frustrate you. Maybe he won't comply at all. He blocks any real
progress
he sees to your getting your way.
*FOSTERING
CHAOS - The p/a man
prefers to leave the puzzle incomplete, the
job
undone.
*FEELING VICTIMIZED -
The p/a
man
protests that others unfairly accuse him rather than owning up to
his own
misdeeds. To remain above reporach, he sets himself up as the
apparently
hapless, innocent victim of your excessive demands and
tirades.
*MAKING EXCUSES & LYING - The
p/a man reaches as far as
he can
to fabricate excuses for not fulfilling
promises. As a way of
withholding information, affirmation or love - to have
power over you - the
p/a
man may choose to make up a story rather than
give you a straight
answer.
*PROCRASTINATION
- The p/a man has an
odd sense of time - he believes
that deadlines
don't exist for him.
*CHRONIC LATENESS &
FORGETFULNESS -
One
of the most infuriating & inconsiderate
of all p/a traits is his
inability to arrive on time. By keeping you
waiting, he sets the ground
rules of the relationship. And his selective
forgetting - used only when
he wants to avoid an obligation.
*AMBIGUITY -
He is master of mixed messages
and
sitting on fences. When he tells you
something, you may still walk
away
wondering if he actually said yes or no.
*SULKING
- Feeling put upon
when he is unable
to live up to his promises or
obligations, the p/a man
retreats from
pressures around him and sulks,
pouts and withdraws.

A passive-aggressive man won't have every single
one of these traits, but he'll
have many of them. He may have other traits
as well, which are not
passive-aggressive.

People with PAPD are
characterized by covert obstructionism, procrastination, stubbornness, and
inefficiency. Such behavior is a manifestation of passively expressed underlying aggression. In the DSM-IV the
disorder is also called negativistic PD.

PAPD patients characteristically procrastinate, resist demands for adequate
performance, find excuses for delays, and find fault with those on whom they
depend; yet they refuse to extricate themselves from the dependent
relationships. They usually lack assertiveness
and are not direct about their own needs and wishes. They fail to ask
needed questions about what is expected of them and may become anxious when
forced to succeed or when their usual defense of turning anger against
themselves is removed.

yep. that's exactly what i have. i'm never openly mad so i sabotage people to get even.

PI part 2

2007-01-25T22:15:00.000+08:00

and we got a 2.75... oh goodie. i dyed my hair, it didn't show. i'll do it again next week. i'll wring the health out of my hair until everybody notices.

mali na eh

2007-01-20T20:15:00.000+08:00

maling mali talaga. yesterday, i was supposed to go to inch's party, but i got bullshitted real bad so i wasn't able to. lia, jb and i had to pay 1800 for LESS THAN 2 minutes of video. took us 4 hours to get there, to that 1 minute and so-so seconds of (f)art. tangina. mali mali pa. i couldn't fucking believe the tragedy. and now i have to learn how to edit the thing myself because i promised them i'd do it, just so i could get out of that place and keep myself from squandering my allowance. grabe o, 600 down the fucking drain and into her yosi budget for the next month. shitae talaga. ok lang sana kung natapos eh, ang kaso hindi. actually, the part that got done, we could do away with. introduction lang eh. kumbaga sa libro, preface, eh wala namang nagbabasa non. dayum. sa lagay na 'to, ako pa ang pinakakalmado sa'ming tatlo. i spent too much for too little (literal, it's not even 7% of what we need), missed my chance for free drinks (which i so need) and now i have to finish the project for monday's PI 100 (PI talaga, in more fucking ways than 100). sakuna talaga. what a pain.

i just had to let it out. whoooo. ooh, and by the way, i'm babysitting my 3 year old cousin. well not really, i left her with the TV. the TV's babysitting her. i'm a bad example. that kid's gonna grow up to be just like me. goodie. and the ungrateful brat had the audacity to tell me the milk i made her didn't taste quite right. buti nga pinagtimpla kita eh, i could've just left you there to starve to death, but no, my nagging conscience got its way.

~~I need a drink.~~

:)

2007-01-14T23:10:00.000+08:00

this picture is from postsecret. i once thought i was the weirdest, most conceited person on earth for having the same thought (sometimes, i still do), but thanks to postsecret, i'm starting to think everyone must've had this thought at some point too. well actually, everyone thinks the world's all about them. so there, a postcard with the one secret we all have.

shet, natalo ang UP kanina sa volleyball. it's sad 'cause they could've won, the game was down to the 5th set. oh well.

ay eto pala. bwisit na bwisit ako sa mga taong hindi tinatapos ang mass. i swear, would it kill you to stay for just one last song? actually yung iba nga pagkacommunion aalis na. dadating right after the offertory, aalis right after communion. see, a mass wouldn't be a mass if you weren't there for the whole thing. yuck ang iporkita ko kasi matagal-tagal akong hindi nagsimba, pero ba't ba. nakakabwisit pa rin. kanina may missionaries pa asking for donation to support their service. there was this speaker, and you know what my "high brow" neighbors did? they stood up and left. yung iba sa center aisle pa dumaan. uhm, pengeng values. if you don't want to give them your donation, fine, nobody's making you. the least you could do for people who volunteer their lives to save bedamned souls is to give them some respect. kaya maraming lumilipat ng church eh. catholics should be tied up in church pillars and made to learn some values. yuck, maling suggestion eh. wala lang, i don't know, i was just really affected. pms siguro.

nawawala ang page 57 ng manual

2007-01-06T02:45:00.000+08:00

i got this from angela's blog (which according to her, would turn up when you google "ACET results". in fact, it would be 10th on the list). parang kailan lang nung ninenerbyos pa ako sa ACET, dahil kung hindi ako pumasa don, good-bye UP na rin me. but i'm not gonna go on explaining how much i love(d) UP, i have a whole archive of high school entries detailing my obsession. angela's anxiety over the acet doesn't hold shit against mine over the upcat. anyway, yun ngang natawa ko:

THINGS YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY:
1. Sino sa inyo marunong mag-autopsy?
2. Accept this sacrifice, o great lord of darkness!!!
3. Brownie! Bumalik ka dito! Lecheng aso ka!
4. Nasaan na yung gunting dito?
5. Putek! Rolex ko nawawala!
6. 500 mL? May naka-survive na ba sa ganyan?
7. Ang mahal pala ng kidney sa black market ngayon, 'no?
8. Teka lang! Layo muna kayo! Nahulog contact lens ko!
9. Ano ba 'yan? Bakit nagkaroon ng ganyan dito?
10. Shems. Akala ko sex change?
11. Freak of nature ang tawag dito, 'no?
12. Nurse, nag-sign ba ng organ donation card ang pasyente?
13. Sunog! Sunog! Labas na kayong lahat!
14. Lintek! Nawawala ang page 57 ng manual.
15. Ano na nga ba ulit tawag dito sa operation na 'to?

hahaha. shit yung nawawala ang page 57 ng manual. hahahaha.
by the way, i'm having second thoughts about med school.

yay 2007

2007-01-01T22:59:00.000+08:00

yay. 2007. i'll miss 2006, but can't say i'm glad it's over. yuck dramatic na 'ko niyan. and i used to hate people who hate.

lots happened in 2006. to quote my 9 year old self, "MTM" (many to mention) eh. ok, i now realize that it doesn't even make sense.

this is a worthless entry. i just had to make one for the first day of the year. happy 2007!

christmas 2006

2006-12-28T17:47:00.000+08:00

it's christ's birthday and not mine, but i feel like i'm the one who grew a year older, years and years older even. i felt miserable, and even more miserable that i was miserable on the happiest day of the year (christmas was my holiday, not even my birthday beats christmas). christmas eve was just about as eventful as having my eyebrows done, which was basically the only thing that made the day different from the 364 others (and noche buena of course, but then i always eat a lot late at night so...). christmas day was spent sleeping through the fever. only got up to go to my lolo's sister's house to make pamasko (the make+tagalogword combination sickens me but i just had to). that was it.

i feel so old. like christmas isn't for me anymore. the grown-ups (which apparently include me now) didn't put much effort into making christmas christmasy. we didn't even have a stupid tree. i missed the smell of christmas morning. i fucking lost my sense of smell eh. but i bet there wasn't gonna be that heartwarming smell even if i did have the ability to sense it. there weren't any gifts for the "grown-ups". taena, wala pa kasi akong trabaho, penge namang regalo diyan. i didn't dress up for christmas day because i knew i wasn't going out. when i did go out though (to make pamasko nga), i wore shorts that were apparently too short. i could not believe it. i don't even wear shorts, and the one time i did, it had to be in the province where wearing shorts was exclusive to those who don't look good in them. oo, maganda sakin ang shorts, tae. sorry ah. haha. shit, galit na'ko niyan. it was christmas and it sucks 'cause it doesn't feel like it.

but even if it looks like i was too busy complaining about christmas to actually enjoy the little that could be enjoyed, i was actually reflecting. oo eh, rumereflect ako. karen sent me this christmas greeting that made me realize that i didn't have to get everything i want for christmas. actually, i didn't have to get anything at all. it's not my birthday, it's His, and if anyone should be getting gifts, eating feasts and sniffing christmas air, it's Him. so happy birthday Jesus! i love You.

i broke my neck

2006-12-17T19:23:00.001+08:00

taena. as i'm typing this, my head is tilted 23 degrees to my right. ang sakit shit yan. minakeupan ko pa nanay ko dahil paparty siya (oo eh) tapos nakatilt lang din ulo ko. mygad. if the pain doesn't go away over the break i'll file for an loa. i refuse to spend the next years of my college life with a tilted head. fuck nagshift lang ako ng weight, natatagtag ulo ko ang sakit.

so last friday was handog. andaming nangyari sa'kin eh. pero ang mas masakit, yung hindi nangyari (namiss ko ang oblation run at tumakbo ang crush namin ni dada).

sumayaw kami ni jb. kailangang kasama si jb. haha.
kumanta kami ulit at nagwalk away ako. i just gave up. hahahaha
napasali ako bigla sa cellophane dance (no different than the normal newspaper dance, just more expensive and prettier to look at) kung saan nahulog ako nang diretso ang katawan sa sahig.
nabasa ako. kasi may float na tirador, tapos yung first fire nila candies. wala akong nakuha so nung nagbadya silang magpapatapon ulit, humarap ako sa float at bukas kamay na umasa. ang kaso water bag yung tinirador eh. sinalo ng bata sakin, who was too short to get wet by it so ako ang tumanggap ng lahat. bakit.
naapakan ako ni rica. haha. wala lang, para kunwari mas eventful. but that was really painful friend, ang bigat mo pala. haha
tumaas ang tuition fee at kung anu ano pa sa UP. tae, what's the point?

Here are some pictures from Handog

yesterday we had the pugad alumni homecoming party. theme's rockstar, pero si dior at si kiel lang ang legit. hahahaha. i had fun. and now my neck's all messed up.

Here are some pictures from the Alumni Homecoming

it doesn't feel like christmas yet.

carolfest

2006-12-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

i love my friends. they are so supportive. akala mo kung anong great ginawa ko eh. haha. i messed up the choreo and forgot the lyrics and i still got a rose and a bouquet and lots of documentation. i could just imagine the glorious moment when i actually do something great.

thank you TFs ayla and gly for your surprise. nasentipede ako eh. thank you mean girls jb, ivy, dana, lia, jam gladys, you're the greatest, greatest people. PUGAD you are so fine! congratulations to us.

Ayla's birthday

2006-12-02T02:50:00.000+08:00

i was in denial and i didn't want to talk about it but ayla says i should or else... grabe ah, parang hindi TF. haha. anyway, she showed me some pictures and in a very pang-hapon-teen-oriented-show way, i looked at each of them while celine dion's "it's all coming back to me now" was blaring at my speakers (oo eh, bumeblare. gotta love celine dion). whooo. tapos biglang "a new day has come" yung nagplay. hahahaha. what a funny, funny thing.

anyway, i've forgiven myself for the mess and i acknowledge the fun i had. like i always tell my tragically regretful friends, it was fun while it lasted. hahaha. akala mo kung ano eh.

i am so bored (even physics problems don't quite do it for me anymore) i've added friends in friendster and gave people testimonials too. ayla's shown me pictures of people i don't know through ym photoshare (the effort eh) and we just found out that jb's kuya's ex is single again.

i just realized my head's so full of secrets, it might just explode on me one day.

shall we dance

2006-11-25T22:54:00.000+08:00

whooo!!! panalo eh. i can't take the image of alex crisano dancing (and practically throwing his partner around for the effect) off my mind. ang laki niya eh. nakakatawa sobra. i mean, it's the kind of thing i'd be laughing (on the inside) about for a long, long time. yung tipong kahit na malungkot ako, maalala ko lang, shet. wow, reminds me of another thing i could still laugh about up to now. i owe a lot of my inner happiness to people who don't even know they make me smile (on the inside). hahaha. whooo. thank you. merry christmas.

ang isa pang ok ay si carlos morales. but he could be really good! i saw his jive last saturday and it was great. a lot of fun to watch, and for the right reasons, unlike my friend alex here (laughing on the inside). hay. i can't believe i only discovered the show last saturday.

i want to watch borat.

2006-11-21T22:57:00.001+08:00

nanalo si manny pacquiao. it's great, really, but i just don't care much for violence. as a matter of fact, the only reason why i'm mentioning this is that i found this picture. sobrang benta sa'kin, 'di ko alam kung bakit.

sobrang great vibes ko ngayon. to think i'm grounded. i guess this is my pms. the world would become a great deal happier if every girl had my kind of pms. happy pms. ang maganda pa niyan, ang tagal ng early-sem-good-student-mode ko. i mean, it hasn't worn off. it should've by now. but this is great. i have notes on every subject, i submit all my homeworks complete and on time... i love it. i guess it's because of my renewed hope for pgh. i've learned that effort and optimism works better than anticipatory coping.

yay. thank You Lord. You are the funniest.

aww.

2006-11-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

nakakalungkot naman. somewhere in the world, right now, while i'm celebrating christmas, someone (or like lots and lots of someones) is contemplating suicide. some reasons are kinda valid (although it is never, ever right to kill yourself, or anyone for that matter), but some are just so fucking selfish and weak that maybe, the people that have these reasons for attempting suicide, don't deserve life. bahala kayo sa inyong buhay (or the lack, thereof) na walang kwenta.

anyway, on a lighter note, Gringo Honasan finally got caught. he is not a hero. he killed people, lots of them. and he's trying to pass himself off as the victim. anyone who does something that heinous does not deserve airconditioning. dapat nga mabilibid na yan eh. pati si erap.

i am currently addicted to postsecret. it makes me feel good, knowing that other people are sadder than me, sad enough to send anonymous postcards to some stranger so that lots of other strangers could know their secret. i'm a horrible person. maybe that should be my secret. i'll make a postcard later.

finally

2006-11-14T21:20:00.000+08:00

shet ang boring ko, puro registration lang ang topic. anyway, tuloy ang ligaya. finally, nakakuha na 'ko ng saktong 15 units!!! i can finally enroll, thank God.

i am bored. hindi nagtagal ang effect ng physics sa 'kin. uvle's not working and i want to download sir's slides because i missed the lecture while staring at him. hahaha. shit yan. bri sat in and we were "chatting" through this piece of paper and i don't know where the fuck it is now. if anyone sees that thing, patay tayo diyan.

so i finally got my 115. ma'am capulong is so cute. she reminds me of myself when i was younger and full of life. yuck, so tired old lady na 'ko niyan. benta siya sa 'kin kaya hindi ako mamataymatay sa boredom kahit na apat at kalahating oras yung subject. lovet. ang kaso yung book namin, walang supply ang national bookstore ng colored. i demand to get only the best quality books from now on. besides. i already have 1700+ newsprint pages from my physics book. sobrang sad na. 'di ko kakayanin.

i am suck a geek. i'm borrowing ivy's english 12 readings for leisurely reading. hahaha. wtf?

By the way, for the second time, hinulaang hindi ako mag-aasawa. But this time it's even worse. I'm going to have a kid, but it's by an effeminate guy who's trying to prove his manhood by impregnating me. Uhm, whyugottadothat??

why i love physics :)

2006-11-12T22:28:00.000+08:00

ten units na 'ko! God is soooo good! at heto pa, hindi lang basta basta ang nakuha kong four units today, ito ay physics 71, at hindi lang basta basta physics 71, it's physics 71 by Mr. Francis Paraan (only the hottest prof in town. haha, in town eh). shet, ang gwapo niya. he's the best looking prof i've gotten so far (uhm, only sana kung hindi lang close second ang assistant prof ko sa linguistics. papa dom eh. ok, maybe they're tied in first place). and he is so nice. i mean, right now, anyone who's willing to add more students to their already great big class is an angel.
though i've already been psychotically chipper in spite of my lack of subjects, i became even more disturbingly happy (i couldn't stop smiling. i have a hot prof and i'm almost out of the LOA threat) when i got physics. the air seems fresher, the sky bluer, facial pores smaller. it's just good vibes all over. man, even walking around SM for six hours felt like a fun exercise. i cannot believe i could be this excited about getting physics 71. i don't even care that none of my batchmates are taking it and that i'm in this all alone. i don't care. i just want to learn. haha. plus the challenge is refreshing. yuck kala mo daling dali sa subjects eh. i mean, it's just different. it's like math 17 and chem 16 all over again. i love it. i just hope it loves me back.

grabe, kahit na masaya ako, bumabalik ang aking pagiging hypochondriac. feeling ko mamamatay na 'ko. yuck oa. kasi ang sakit ng heart ko, parang ang sikip ng dibdib ko (uy, bago yun ah) na hindi ako makahinga. shit. then i have bruises and i can't remember how i got them. so weird. tapos yung weird pain ko pa sa panga ko. haha. and the mass i feel around my neck. dayum.

please, please pray for me!!! last na 'to. psych 115. i need this subject just so i won't be underloaded. saktong 15 if i get ma'am capulong. grabe! God please! tapos sana makuha ko rin yung eee 10. para 18 na, hindi masyadong bum ang feeling. it won't hurt to be in DEEE twice a week. wouldn't hurt at all. :D

i just got my physics book yesterday. putangina. ito na ang pinaka sa lahat ng naging books ko sa aking 15 years of being a student. mali talaga eh. as in i tried to browse through it for light, just-before-bed reading. uhm, 'di ako makahinga. kasi nakapatong siya sa dibdib ko. i felt like my ribcage was about to give way and my heart was gonna get crushed (and not in the way most teenagers get their hearts crushed). maliiii. literal. 4 inches thick, siguro kasing bigat ng isang full-grown buko. i feel so scholarly.

happiness is just 11 units away

2006-11-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

11 units nalang at magpapainom na 'ko. but now, in a world where social injustice is widespread and with my luck fleeting, these 11 units which were so fucking easy to get last time, remain elusive. grabe hits! nauubos na ang optimism ko ah. pati pera ko dahil panay lunch lang ang meron ako. this is so wrong.

wait lang, i just gotta share, ang PE ni Gabo ay... wait for it... TREASURE HUNTING!!! bakit eh??? pano 'ko malulungkot sa lagay ko (6 units palang me... why??) kung may mga tao sa kabilang side ng katipunan na nag PPE ng TREASURE HUNTING??? whoooooo!!!!! can i just say, iba talaga ang Miriam! holistic growth eh! why???

anyway, back to my problem. no one wants me! bakit eh? bakit wala akong maprerogan? ang mas maganda pang tanong diyan, bakit kasi kailangan ko pang magprerog? bakit wala akong subjects? bakit kulang ang inooffer sa UP? bakit??? anyway, never na masasagot yan kaya i'll just have to deal with the fucking system.

ito mga attempts ko to get subjects:

2nd day of registration (for students 04-05)
punta ko ng mga 10, eh ang kaso wala na, andaming tao, suko na me. all of my friends who've been manually enlisting subjects were all so smad (Ms. Caloocan's term meaning, sad and mad) about the whole registration thing so we decided to go to our happy place, McDo Katipunan (oo eh, bakit hindi nagggrow out of McDo Katip), where we spent almost 3 hours comparing our pathetic situations. pero as if hindi namin alam na wala na kaming mahihita, balik naman us sa UP at try ulit. ayun, obviously, hindi successful. i went home with nothing.

3rd day of registration (free-for-all)
pagdating ko sa UP ng 10, lunch ulit kami sa katipunan dahil 1 pa raw ang aking pre-advising (stupid me, didn't get preadvised which is why i don't have majors up to now). when i got back to PHAN, i lined up for late advising for thirty effing minutes. i finally got advised by Sir Mike (i swear, ang bait niya. parang ang pure ng kanyang soul, makes me want to believe that people are innately good, nagdrugs lang ng maaga ang karamihan). he told me not to take my elective yet, since it was obvious i wasn't decided. i appreciate that, he's not so concerned with my grades but with my interests. i like that in people. so ayan, nakapagpaadvise na 'ko. i went to the enlistment center (for lack of a better and less stupid term) to get my majors. ang kaso, late advisees will automatically have to prerog. so fly na me. wala na 'kong mahihita. tapos si jay suarez (God bless him) told me to get science electives and PI 100 so i could at least have something (at the time, i still had nothing. boo). i went to MSI to enlist for 101 (because MS 1 is so closed it's pointless and stupid to even ask), pero wala na. muntik ko pang malimutang magtanong about 102. but i did, and that my friends, was my first (and until late this afternoon, my only) subject.

First day of classes
i went to my first and only class for the day, MS 102. the prof is sooo nice and pleasant. i think i'm going to love her class. i saw ivy at the parking lot because she was supposed to prerog for some MS subject, so i told her to prerog in mine. she immediately got in. so i spread the word and now i've recruited 6 people. throughout the day i tried to prerog for the most obscure subjects UP offered. people were so supportive. i texted Chubby and when i saw her, she thought i was going to ask her to line up for something. she's the nicest, sweetest buddy there is. may shit pang nangyari sa pagpprerog ko and i don't want to talk about it. because it's to funny. my stupid mouth got in the way yet again. anyway, i got PI 100 from the most generous prof in the world (he took us all in, so 61 ang students niya sa pang 30 na klase). so now i have 6 units. but i'm really, honestly, happy about that. i mean, count your blessings nga naman. because of this whole ordeal, i felt like a lot of people were really concerned about me, siguro mas concerned pa nga sila kaysa sa 'kin. nakakatouch naman.

so i would like to dedicate this new skin (fresh from blogskins.com), new tagboard and most recent entry to the people who helped me, cheered me up and sent me jokes (shit eh, bakit kasi sa gitna ng busy registration may mga nagtetext ng jokes na mali).

Thanks to JB, Ivy, Corinna, Dada, Chubby, Jay, Jeejay, MC girls, Pugad, Mean Girls, TFs, my great family and to God, for the six absofuckinglutely fantastic units i got. :D

ang bait ni Lord

2006-11-06T17:49:00.000+08:00

minsan feeling ko favorite ako ni Lord. haha.

hahahahahahaha

2006-10-26T00:57:00.000+08:00

howmiged. today i told _______ the secret. natatawa ako. shit.

we have another jo in our hands. yeyeye. it's gonna be a major project and i can't wait.

i'm going away for 3 days starting tomorrow. then i'll be back for a couple of hours and leave again for batangas then be back then leave again for another two days then that's it.

shit sasabog ata ako. next time. hahahaha. so many revelations! too many for little me.

mang-Aya (Dalumpines)

2006-10-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

hahahaha. that's what you get for being so effing great, woman. you get to be a verb. from now on, no more miss-nice-girl. hahaha. new motto: don't think, just do. unfortunately, it doesn't come naturally for me. i have to be drunk to "do". tsk. anyway, no need to hurry. but i promise, if i find the right subject, with just the right gorgeousness and meekness to bring out the Aya in me, i'd do it. uh-huh. hahaha shet.

oh my effing g... i think Jopay (the woman who abandoned me. as in *poof* gone...) is dating my cousin. it's soooo weird! the world's so ridiculously small. man. still can't believe it... it's like the time i found out i knew sir frabros' daughter. i couldn't breathe for like an hour.

i'm done... done with stat (ata, still deciding if i want to take the finals), done with geog, done with fil, done with pan pil, done with weight training, done with spanish, done with this sem... done for. shiiiit. i soooo screwed this sem up, i don't even want to get my classcards... yeah like i even do that. but really, i want to, uhm, fix myself? for the next sem. i need this sem.. and the next 4 after it.

i'm looking for a job... if anyone's interested in having a slave (for homeworks, papers, etc.), contact me. please. i need a job 'cause i have too much free time and too little money. it's crazy.

postsecret

2006-10-08T12:46:00.000+08:00

i learned this from Pam Q's. it's a blog where other people's secrets are posted (PostSecret, very simple). some secrets are funny, some are disturbing, some are heartwarming and some are forgettable.

i'm bored but i have lots to do. i have a long long list of requirements i haven't submitted for almost all my subjects and i have 4 exams coming up within the next 3 days. it's sad.

hay. help me God.

howmiged

2006-09-28T01:45:00.001+08:00

besides inventing new words and bringing back old, weird ones, i haven't done anything worthwhile for quite some time.

no classes tomorrow. lovely.

i'll sleep now.

oh before that, i just want to call for a just increase in the UP professors' salary. yeye. that's my thing now, acceptable activism (notice the word acceptable, how it doesn't apply to most activists). i swear some kids just don't know what the hell they're doing.

i hate drama, dyaknowthat? it's pointless. and stressful. i don't get why people would want any of it in their lives. and i hate, hate, hate overly exciteable people. gawd, if i wanted to deal with people like that, i'd check myself into a psych ward and be roommates with, uhm, i don't know what you call them, i'm just a psych sophomore.

thanks TFs (true friends, a.k.a. Ayla and Gly), i don't know why or how, but you've been brightening up my week, no month, or months. i really need bright little rays of sunshine (uhm gly? bright ray of sunshine? who the fuck am i kidding? haha) to clear out the monsoons of unseasonable sadness (yeah, that's a quote from the daily show) that's been bugging me for the longest time. lovet.

let's have another studio pic. punyeta, babawi ako. haha.

tomorrow we'll watch the ust vs. admu game... it doesn't concern me, really, but then again it's free so why not. hahaha.

center stage

2006-09-17T18:02:00.000+08:00

i need a copy of center stage. i'm so bored i think i'll have a center stage marathon (yeah, minamarathon ko ang iisang movie. hurhihoo.)

i just talked to tin.. awww. i miss 4-1 to death. we need a reunion.

i love this song, morris brown. it's so fun. i mean i don't know what it means but i like how it sounds so there.

my hair

2006-09-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

i just had a haircut. i loved it. but now i miss my hair. i'm such a girl. at eto pa. kinilig ako sa movie. daymit. ang gwapo kasi ni john tucker eh. damn him. anyway, for my new hair: http://queenjulie.multiply.com

back to glasses

2006-09-11T20:09:00.000+08:00

ang mali diyan, soooobrang kapal pa rin ng glasses ko kahit na 30% thinner na siya, or as they call it, "ultrathin". walang hiya. maling mali ito. at ang isa pang mali diyan, nahuhulug hulog ako sa mga hagdanan dahil hindi ako sanay sa depth distortion sa edges ng aking new ultrathin ultrahigh glasses. maling mali lang talaga.

i have decided that i really don't like ******* people. i just can't deal with them, so i am now limiting my interaction with them to a maximum of two hours a week. perfect.

i have decided that i don't want to be treated like a stupid person. i am not a stupid person and i do not deserve to be treated like a moron. i refuse to be an accessory to other people's ego boosts by playing the dumb one. perfect.

i have also decided that i am going to stop acting like a helpless idiot. yes, this may cause me to lose the perk of having my needs taken care of (which i have enjoyed for as long as i can remember), but at least i'll get the satisfaction of knowing that i did not give other people any reason to think they're smarter than me, because they're not. i feel sorry for the people i'm writing this for, because they wouldn't know it's about them. if they asked, i'd lie. of course i'd lie. i'm too smart not to lie.

i love it. i love saying i'm smart. and because i am a smart person, i'm going to start acting like one. perfect.

shit i'm going blind

2006-09-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

it's getting worse. it's gone from 4.50-3.75 to 5.25-4.50. imagine how thick the glasses are gonna be. yep, i'll be wearing glasses 'cause my eyes got all fucked up from wearing contact lenses for the past 7 years. i have cysts under my eyelids. cysts. almost like cancer cells. but not really, i'm just being dramatic. i can't believe i have to go back to eyeglasses. thank God for science, they know how to make thinner plastic versions of the real glass eyeglasses. now i don't have to bear the embarrassment of having really, really thick glasses. i can have them 30% thinner. what joy. they call it ultrathin. somehow i don't feel reassured. now for the little fuckers under my eyelids, i have drops that i have to, uhm, drop on 3 times a day. hopefully they'll go away (how naive) in 2 weeks, just before bri's "hollywood chic" party.

i don't have tickets for the uaap cheerdance competition. fuck. the one time i really wanted to watch something, some fucker gets the bright idea to limit the tickets to one per person so my friends couldn't get one for me. well maybe it is a bright idea, it just didn't work for me. i know who to blame. the other schools. they don't stand a chance against up or ust anyway so why do they have to watch the competition? just give us the bedamned tickets and spare yourselves the unnecessary expense and hassle of seeing your schools lose. eww. i sound like a fan. that is sooo uncool.

2006-09-04T22:53:00.000+08:00

where is cara? where is abe? gabo? boys are tearing us apart. fac4 unite. i need your guidance. haha. i need a refreshing break from up. kayo lang ang nakakaalam ng aking deep dark secret. i have more to add to that. let's meet up soon.

new layout!!!!!!

2006-08-27T14:33:00.000+08:00

because it's almost christmas (i swear iba ang time perception ko sa ibang tao), i've decided to change my layout into this. it has the same title as my past christmas blog and it'll have pretty little blingy stuff soon.

nakakadepress. pasko na naman. for someone who is obviously excited about it, i find christmas depressing. i love my nails. they're painted barbie pink. everyone should have barbie pink nails. they're really pretty. and they go well with black tops, black drinks, black keyboards. i want to wear glasses again. i tried cha's on and i looked smart and refined. yep, maybe i need glasses. maybe to become an over-achiever, i should look the part. good bye contact lenses (besides, they're fucking piercing my eyes. i think i have a huge scar on my iris).

2006-08-27T09:37:00.000+08:00

last Thursday i had my interview for pugad. it's not as org-oriented as others might've been (but i really wouldn't know 'cause i never went on with the other orgs i've applied for), which means i probably did better there than i would've in other orgs. but, as always, i think i came across as cold and aloof, like i don't care about the org. i do, it just doesn't show. actually, i really like this org, pugad. nice people. and casti! haha. casti. ok background info. there's this guy from pugad who they say looks like chicken little. his name's casti. i wanted to see for myself if he really did look like chicken little but i don't know which one he is. so whenever i'm at the pugad tambayan or when there are ga's, i'm always on the look-out for a chicken little look-alike. i never saw one. so anyway just very recently, i found out who he is. and yeah, when you've heard of the chicken little thing, you'd see the resemblance. anyway, we weren't friends, we never got introduced. but on my interview, when they asked me why they should take me in, i told them that they could do without me anyway and that when i don't get in, nothing bad could happen, so the only reason why they'd want to accept me is that they want me there. then casti goes (the interview was for the whole table, but this conversation took place just between the two of us), "wag mong iisiping pag nawala ka, walang maaapektuhan sa pugad. you've touched the people you've met, etc.", or something like that. super heartwarming!!! hahahahaha. it's so unexpected. ang heartwarming din ni Chubby my buddy. i'm so glad i got chubby. kahit na nung una akala ko di kami magkakasundo. turns out she's the perfect buddy for me.

so anyway, yesterday may inuman kami nina gly, lau, cha, lors at iris sa bar nina cha. nakakatawa yung drink eh (na hanggang ngayon di ko pa rin alam kung ano). habang tumatagal tumatapang eh. huway. but then i had to leave early 'cause of raian's despedida. ang mali diyan, nauna pa ako dumating sa discov suites kesa kina jb. it's a record first. that never happens. sabi ni jb, "reversal or roles eh, pinroblema namin si gladys tapos ikaw nandito na". so problema pala ko. dayum. haha. when we got there we were just confused. actually the whole day yesterday was just a huge confusion. but i had fun. lia gave us background info on raian's friends. those kids have funny anecdotes. haha.

why am i blogging? because i'm buying time. i'm in denial of what i have to do. i refuse to do it just yet. wahshet. i can only stall for so long. ok bye.

ayon

2006-08-23T18:41:00.001+08:00

wala namang nangyayari saking worth sharing. except for my sad realization that i won't get into up med. haha (i'm laughing on the outside but crying on the inside. hahahahah. shet. never mind). punyeta kailangan pala pag babae at least magna cum laude. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm. i won't even make cum laude, plain cum laude. langya. just when i felt that i want this really bad, i found out i'm not good enough for it. ayun eh. nagpakawala nanaman ng walang ka kwenta kwentang feeling poetic line. but really, it's sad. feeling ko nga ayoko naman talagang magdoctor, gusto ko lang mag UP med. howell.

eh ang kapal naman kasi ng mukha ko to want that eh medyo 3 papers na ang di ko nasusubmit sa pan pil, yung isa pa don ay midterm requirement namin. pano ko naman gagawin yon eh di ako umattend ng field trip. genius julie, genius. nakakailang quizzes na rin akong namimiss sa span. i think i failed my fil40 exam and i don't know what the hell is going on with my geog. meron nga rin pala akong di nasubmit na paper don. tsk. pati pe ko ewan. ewan ko ba talaga sayo julie.

akala ko ok na ako this sem, but then again. poof. ewan. ni hindi na nga ako umiinom madalas eh. wala, it's just me and my lack of commitment to anything.

siguro dapat na akong magstart magjazz class. baka that i can commit to. yehey.

ayon

2006-08-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

MY YEARBOOK MISTAKES

2006-07-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

1. my informal poses: for the people who know me, you probably know i was trying (unfortunately to no avail) to prove something. haha. you see, i'm a huge critic of the whole princess thing (sorry princess friends, but you know how i am), so i decided to "act" like one. that includes wearing ridiculous accessories (the star clip) and posing ditzily (ok, i know most "princesses" are smart, but i'm playing with the stereotype). again, I'M NOT LIKE THAT, REALLY.

2. my prophecy: the class prophecy should be written by a couple of assigned students but since my lazy ass class wanted the easy way out, we passed around a sheet of paper wherein we wrote what we want to happen to ourselves in the future. i think there has been a mistake. it says there, "julie is going to be a comedy icon known only by her first name". i distinctly remember having written "first lady, known only by my first name (kinda like evita)" i am not comedienne. i will never be a comedienne. howkay? so don't approach me asking for a joke. i don't invent them, i get them from people with unlimitxt.

3. formal grad pic: i don't know, it's just wrong.

so there. because i'm a lazy ass, arrogant idealist, my yearbook page is all screwed.

howkay

2006-07-19T20:22:00.000+08:00

so far, none of my plans for this sem has pushed through. i love how i never get things done right, if i get them done at all. nagseself-pity nako niyan.

ay pakshet i can't believe i almost forgot to completely tear our yearbook apart in my blog. julie, what a shame. see, i'm losing my, what do you call it, meanness? yeah i'm declaring that a word from now on. i can't seem to say anything cleverly evil anymore. aww.

until the yearbook came out. what a *toooooooting**toooooting* heap of *tooooot*. two years? two frickin' years? it took them two years to create a pile of... would've only taken me around ten minutes. what really, really got to me, was the 3-page events section. wow. so that about raps up the four supposedly absofuckinglutely fun fun fun years of our lives? dayum, we're lotsafun aren't we?

wow. something's up with me, really. i actually feel guilty about the things i just wrote. pam quizon! if you're reading this. i love you. you made me realize (with your palanca) how badly i need to, uhm, bitch myself up again.

ayun eh

2006-06-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

maling mali. sabi ko last time instead of "there", "their". fuck. i'm so losing my english. anyway, turns out i'm not gonna need it this sem. i'm taking spanish, and fil 40.

fil 40. fucking fil 40. got the right subject, got the wrong prof. i cannot believe the requirements of this course. wrong eh. wrong. i actually momentarily lost my zest for life because of this. hahaha.

anyway, i still haven't dyed my hair. i'm chicken shit (thanks jb for reminding me how chicken i am about a looooot of things. because of that, i don't wanna leave my house anymore. haha). can't even eat japanese, or even a stupid chocolate candy i haven't heard of. i don't even like dogs, scared of them too. i'm afraid of losing things that's why i've developed a very inconvenient compulsion of checking my bag every fucking minute. i can't swim, i'm afraid of drowning. i can't cook, i'm afraid of burning my hand. the fear would be normal if it were some complicated fried dish, but no. i can't cook instant noodles because the steam hurts.

all i need is a drink. unfortunately i can't even have my nite at home 'cause my dad would find out and as it turns out, he hasn't fully accepted my drinking. and i have tons of homework. and i don't like anyone right now.

ayos

2006-06-25T21:58:00.000+08:00

something's happening to me. i can't think of anyone i hate. i've been digging into my deep pile of sama ng loob but i still can't find a single person worth noting in our burn book (yeah, we're college students and we have a burn book). most of my friends put boys there, but i honestly can't think of a male-type human i care enough about to hate. so girl nalang. unfortunately, i don't care much about the women either. damn. i don't know if being completely apathetic is worse than having so much hate.

ok. last friday, i had my palm read by a psychic (actually, literal eh, he's a psych major so...) and you know what he said? the very, very first thing he said? "Mukhang di ka mag-aasawa. Parang ayaw mo, or you're not the type." all hail queen julie. she's gonna die alone. hahaha. pero steady lang, i don't believe in fortune-telling anyway (i just enjoy it. it's fun). but it was insanely hilarious to be told that you're not getting married. whooreehoo.

spanish exam tomorrow! can't wait to see what my evil prof (but i love him, i do) has in store for us.

happy 25th anniversary couples for christ!

i am unstable

2006-06-19T21:27:00.000+08:00

unstable ako eh. i keep on tripping and bumping on things. wrong. haha. basta ang weird. kaya nga ang sakit ng katawan ko in weird places. but i'm happy. i don't know why. maybe i shouldn't question my happiness and just be thankful. naks. thankful ampota.

putek. ang masama nito, unti unti nakong nawawalan ng pakealam sa mga tao sa paligid ko. wrong. ayon. kaya siguro ako masaya. kasi wala akong pake. wrong. haha. oh well. whatever makes me sleep at night. i love you God. sorry di ako nakakapagmass. hay nako.

k k k

2006-06-14T22:29:00.000+08:00

k. wala eh. nothing's happening to me. haha. and i love it. the steadiness feels great.

anyway, dayum. i'm so steady, can't even think of anything to write about.

yeah, my new notepad is pretty. it's pearly white. very pretty.

i suck at videoke. dayum. and my family has accepted my drinking. we celebrated with vodka. yahoo.

i've never seen an orange ballpen. i need an orange ballpen.

i'm regretting pan pil 19. too many students, too sedated prof, too high up classroom. wrong.

we're going to pangasinan. yay.

i'm getting my hair dyed dark brown copper mahogany reflect. imagine that.

i want science high school/from the province friends.

i'm not loving the drama, it's getting old.

globe is ok.

sun's better.

my file case is small. but i want a smaller one.

do not mistake this for a free verse. i do not write poetry.

i want a big collegiate thesaurus because my vocabulary is not collegiate enough. i don't even know what collegiate means.

gly's transferred to UP, ayla's globe. i love it.

i really like fac4. they're fun, low maintenance people.

i might go out with gly and trix on friday. yeah, trix is back from canada.

cielo's back from singapore, too.

my relatives will come visit the philippines this july. i will be fat this july.

i enjoy being alone now.

i've learned that staying mum about things that aren't about to change is the best thing you could do because too many people have too much to say about things they do not fully understand and that annoys me too much.

i've learned that when people live meaningless lives, they give meaning to meaningless things.

i've learned that sometimes you have to stick with something you're used to just because.

i've learned that if you don't avoid something you find unacceptable soon enough, you'd learn to accept it and it would suck once you realize what has happened.

dayum. i'm not loving it.

06-06-06

2006-06-06T18:57:00.000+08:00

how friggin original, julie. i bet there are like a thousand blogs na yan ang title. it's so overrated. i just had to ride the whole devil's number thing.

anyway... i was supposed to have a picnic with ayla and gly. but no. hindi natuloy. partly because i planned it and you know how my plans end up; and because gly left us to rot in katipunan for three hours. in fairness, glynel was very uhmm, motherly about it. like a real mom who had to take care of business (which was to watch omen with the boyfriend) she left us at our play place (katipunan) with baon (P50.00). ayon.

so nag neoatens nalang kami

there. ok i'm tired of this. it costs too much.

maneater

2006-06-01T20:05:00.000+08:00

ok, obviously i'm not a maneater. but this is my favorite song right now. lovet.

Timbaland:]
Take it back, take it back...

Verse 1-
Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door you start screaming
Come on everybody what chu here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
Everybody get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people come on jump around
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me, or be me!

Chorus-
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!

Verse 2-
And when she walks she walks with passion
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it
when she asks for something boy she means it
even if you never ever seen it
everybody get your necks to crack around
all you crazy people come on jump around
you doing anything to keep her by your side
because, she said she love you, love you long time!

Chorus-
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!

[Chants]

Chorus-
Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
make you fall, fall in love
She's a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cords
Wish you never ever met her at all!

Outro-
Never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!

sige wag nang magtitle (the summer ender)

2006-05-10T18:03:00.000+08:00

wala akong maisip eh. so wag ipilit. anyway... i can't say my summer's been super action packed since i know my other friends (you know who you are.. hehe) are definitely having more uhm, fun? than i am. but it's been nice. so summer ender nako nito... umuulan na kasi eh. ayon, yun pala dapat title ko. summer ender. singit ko nalang.

wow. i've forgotten about the things that's happened to me this summer. ewan. parang marami na ewan. basta... di ko talaga alam! Haha. so i'll talk about the events that i do remember... as far as my memory could take me, that is, uhmm, last sunday eh. mali yon. short term si gaga.

sunday: sarah's debut
runway fashionista night ata yung theme, or something like that. so umeffect kaming ukay. bakit? haha. ooh except for gly, she got hers from freeway.

(for more pics go to my multiply)

monday: bri's despedida
gusto ko ang vibe ng bedroom. you guys should go there. ganda ng lights eh. nakakasabaw. lovet.

alright ayoko na ulit magblog...

but before that... i just want to share that my comm 3 crush is from UP batch 2000. putakte mga pare... ako batch 2005. huway??? HINDI PA AKO GRADUATE NG GRADE SCHOOL, COLLEGE NA SIYA that's just wrong. maling mali. wahahahaha.

girls

2006-05-04T19:43:00.000+08:00

the air is full of girliness... i don't know what's going on. hardcore, cold-hearted bitches are turning soft as clouds and delicate as heavily processed hair. it's just weird.

henyway... i have nothing to say. haha. i'm getting bored with blogging. i guess i'm not über conceited anymore.

wow. i paused and thought of what to write, nothing popped up. it's just not meant to be. oh well.

jb's birthday

2006-04-29T11:37:00.000+08:00

yay. i'm at jb's house and we just finished playing poker. yuck, so pokerists na kami niyan (uy new term). tinamad ako biglang magblog kasi ang sarap nung champola. weird transition.

ok. sobrang nagdedeteriorate na ang aking math skills... nung nagsscore ako sa duckpin di ko ma-add ang 14 and 8. as in hindi ko talaga siya naadd. i had to ask my groupmate to add it for me. tangina the embarrassment eh. haha. but oh well, stupidity is lucrative. jessica simpson got rich looking dumb.

cool kami

2006-04-24T13:21:00.001+08:00

ang cool namin ni bries... nagkita kami sa katipunan para, uhmm... gumimick? at guess where we landed... NEOATENS COMPUTER SHOP. putangina. yan naman ang hip.

ayon, kahapon nagkita kami nina jb at pam at pinuntahan namin yung venue ng birthday ni jeybs sa valle verde... tapos ayun na, pinagawa na kami ni jb ng isang napaka, uhmm, interesting? na activity. we cut little jb poker faces that would be put on her poker chips. anak ng hayup. they were like half an inch in diameter, 5 colors, 210 cut-outs each. mali yon, mali. haha. so obviously, walang matinong kinalabasan ang kahit anong conversation that we tried to make. hello, kung di ba naman matunaw ang utak mo don eh.

anyway magcacantina na kami ni bries. ang jologs, cantina. mas cool pa rin dito sa neoatens...

cool kami

2006-04-24T13:21:00.000+08:00

LAHAT NA NG MALI NASAYO. AT HINDI LANG AKO ANG NAGSASABI.

2006-04-20T18:16:00.000+08:00

wow. i cannot believe a person like that exists. she manages to make other people look bad even if she's the source of all evil. oo na, mali na kung mali ang pagsasabi ko nito but there's just no other way. WE'RE JUST BEING OURSELVES. yun naman yung importante sayo di ba?

hahabaan ko dapat but i don't want to waste my time. it's just not worth it.

share ko lang tong quote na nabasa ko, "The worse a person is, the less she feels it." grabe, swak sa balde.

comm3

2006-04-19T16:36:00.000+08:00

hayup. may classmate akong koreano. funny eh, i mean steady lang siya don. eh ang kaso naging groupmate ko, yung tipong forever and ever na kaming together at nakasalalay sa kanyang pageenglish ang magiging grade ko. sabagay, teachers tend to give them extra credit for trying, malay mo madamay ako. ayos yon.

as usual inggit na naman ako sa group ni canada... shet talaga pam you get the best people palagi, and the difference was one seat, one friggin chunk of plastic. ako pa nagsave ng seat na yon para sa kanya eh. yung group ni canada din dati sa art stud sobrang achiever kids... career lahat eh. oh well... 1.5 naman ako. haha. thanks groupmates!

hay... comm3, i'm not exactly having fun but it's ok... steady.

anyway, ang sakit ng ulo ko dahil kulang ako sa tulog. as you may know, pinapanood ko talaga yung conan o brien gabi gabi kaya late na kong nakakatulog. tapos comm3 at 9 am... eh ang kaso may will and grace hanggang 9 din, conflict eh! so late ako at hindi ako makatulog sa klase dahil onti lang kami at kitang kita yung tulog. mali talaga. nakakainis ang summer classes, sagabal sa pagtulog. tsss. oh well at least hindi ako nagiging financially dry. haylovet.

o ayon. mageenlist pa ako. alam niyo namang nakakasira ng buhay ang maling subjects (tignan niyo ko, ang aking UP life: a series of unfortunate events.)

pam's house again

2006-04-17T18:56:00.000+08:00

i missed pam's house... six days din akong nawala.

first day of school was fine... nagpapafavorite kami ni pam. kailangan kong magkaroon ng uno. i hate hate hate not having an uno, i just realized. hindi rin naman pala ako walang pakealam. kailangan kong magtino. yehehesss.

this day has been so random... random people doing random things in random places... basta. random. ewan ko ba.

good vibes... kita ko ulit niggas after a long long time! picture taking kami eh. cam whores.

black saturday

2006-04-15T20:59:00.000+08:00

online ako ng black saturday. my goodness, what is happening to me? i mean i used to have a nice and quiet holy week, away from everyone and with absolutely no means of communication to any of my friends. i even used to turn off my phone for the weekend. but no, eto ako nagbblog and later if i'm feeling a bit more daring i might even do friendster. shet. see, i typed sh*t on an entry about the holy week.

i feel bad, really. i swear. it's not even a "pa-cool" thing, saying you've been evil just so people would think you've been having fun... i just want to be a good person, parang UP-YFC member. ayon naman ang tinatawag na good. specific talaga eh, UP-YFC. ui issues.

summer classes. stupid stupid summer classes. why did i ever think taking summer classes was a good idea? (uhmm julie, baon, freedom, why else?) anyway, wala akong wallclimbing (i'm not sure if i've mentioned it here but anyway, there you go) at idea ko pa siya... i asked all my friends to take wallclimbing at heto ako ngayon, PE-less. ampuch. now i don't know what to do.. if i prerog for wallclimbing, i'll be left with a two-hour break that i'm going to be spending ALONE. oo na insecure na ako at takot mapag-isa. crucify me, i'm a girl at kabirthday ko si paris hilton (i swear i make the weirdest connections).

anyway, i'm bored and i miss my friends. it's easy to miss people you're used to seeing everyday (gawin bang bahay bakasyunan ang bahay ni pam). anyway i'm going to see them on monday. then we might have bbq at mico's house friday, then a party at pam's saturday, and as you might know i have a youth camp friday-saturday (sabay eh, mali yon). at nagaaya si pal magtagaytay next weekend. adik eh. bakit? and why am i telling you this? wala lang in case you're a hot stalker, you'd know where to find me. HOT a, HOT. kundi rin lang, never mind. yuck feeling si gaga.

anyway, go reflect.

my maundy thursday

2006-04-13T15:48:00.000+08:00

nasa dotahan ako sa isang bayan sa nueva ecija ngayong mahal na araw. bad christian, julie. bad christian. anyway, the internet sucks here. sinamahan ko cousins ko so i can use the internet but it turns out that the browser can only open around five sites. anakngputs. i can't even open the one blog i was looking forward to reading. aksaya ng panahon at pera to. mali eh.

ako talaga napupuno na ha. some people are just soooo lacking in manners. i cannot believe how ungrateful this person is to my friend. she feeds you, clothes you, shelters you. how dare you make her feel bad.

being yourself is only good if you are a good person. kung sablay ka, better be somebody else. or make yourself a good person. don't make it an excuse for acting the way you do because us humans, we're gifted with free will, hindi puro animal instinct ang dapat pairalin. and don't use your past "down time" to validate your unacceptable behavior either. we all have problems and we deal with them without burdening other people. i'm sorry if this is mean and hurtful to some people, but i am sooo not sorry for writing this. i've been meaning to for so long. it's so cathartic.

gabe, show some appreciation naman. sobrang ungrateful eh. ungrateful talaga. in spite of how high you think you are (pun intended) the world doesn't revolve around you (may pun din yan if you're smart.Ü) treat people with respect, that's the least you could do, i swear. you owe my friend sooooo much you have NO right to treat her the way you do. mali ka eh.

i have a new addiction

2006-04-12T02:45:00.000+08:00

my close friend and i have sessions every night... sometimes i do it with a couple of other girls... i just have to have my daily dose of it. i won't tell you what it is though, you might judge me and banish me forever. hihihihihi.

i went to criselle's surprise party... she's super lucky. francis is the best boyfriend ever. papa francis! haha. i remember when he got us pizza for our class christmas party. mozta ang pagpapalakas? haha. criselle's brothers are super nice too. i wish i had a brother. fatima pa-sex change ka.

ako nabibwisit na ha. may isang tao (sana nababasa mo 'to) naiirita na ako sa kanya. he just doesn't get it. i've never been so mean and unaccomodating to anyone in my life before yet he still bugs me. bugs bugs bugs. chief, makaramdam ka naman ng sakit di ba? yung tipong you're deliberately trying to hurt him so he won't bother you anymore, but no, chieftain doesn't get a clue. tigas mo pare. iba ka.

nakakatawa yung hirit ni pam kanina "sana pala nagkaboyfriend ako bago ng debut ko para may nagsurprise sakin". onga naman. haha

tapos si jb nung pinapatay kami ni mico (uhmm, drunk driving na hindi naman drunk. mozta chief.) "pag ako namatay nang di pa ko nagboboyfriend..."

puro boyfriend issues eh. mali yon.

fuckin' up reg system

2006-04-10T22:22:00.000+08:00

bad vibes. i had this really nice thought i wanted to blog about but it escaped my mind because of this super kaduper fucked up enrollment.

i swear, i've never undergone anything so complicated yet super uncivilized in my life. boo, UP. boo.

anyway, sabi ni jeybs inaagawan ko daw siya ng lalake. mali yon chief. anong aagawin ko? hahahaha. shet. that's kinda sad... hahaha. nagaagawan kami ni jeybs sa di namin kilala. at hindi pa pareho ang taste namin ni jb a.this just shows how severe the male deficiency situation is in my school.

ayon naalala ko na kung ano yung ibblog ko dapat. grabe, i was super touched when i found out that my yfc-mate found my existence inspiring. i kinda felt bad too, because i don't think i deserve that. i know that's just probably some half-hearted compliment (yuck julie, modesty ba ito?) but it really got to me. here i am, wasting away. pining by the second. messing up my life. making stupid decisions (a la britney marrying kevin federline)... and this girl actually kinda looked up to me. i want to change. i mean for real. i really do. i'm going to start by choosing boring, uno-able subjects for next sem. yay!

another day at pam's house

2006-04-05T18:50:00.000+08:00

ayon. andito na naman ako kay pam. medyo nagbreak lang ako kahapon, when i spent the day at lau's... kamusta naman ang hindi pagsstay sa sariling bahay diba. malala eh, yung pangangapitbahay ko medyo cubao pa. whooweee.

so tomorrow we're going to tagaytay for our poker night. lovet. ang kaso di pa ko nagpapaalam. san payagan ako later. medyo short notice eh. mali yon

kadiri ako. i have an unhealthy obsession towards conan o brien. o c'mon julie. eh kasi naman ang ganda ganda ng smile niya. promise, tignan niyo kasi. give the guy a chance. haha.

ayoko na bonding niggaG (yuck everyday naman eh)

andito si junno. yuck affected bakit. kaya ayon... medyo panic attack si bri. lovet.

lau's haus (yuck pilit)

2006-04-04T20:44:00.001+08:00

yay asa bahay ako ni lau!!! i super missed lau's haus... this was practically my home last summer (and pam's and francis' and paolo's...)

magpaparty kami nina lau. yahoo!!! sa bahay ni tm! sa monday! yay!

anyway wala ako sa bahay ng thursday-friday, saturday-sunday at monday! moztah...

ayoko na. next time chief.

nakina pam ulit

2006-04-03T18:43:00.000+08:00

yay akina pam ako ulit. i missed this place. isang araw din akong nawala. can i just say, sa mga nasabi kong plans kahapon for today, uhmmm, walang natuloy. haha. hindi ako nakapagisaw dahil nalate ako ng dating (pero natapos ko na ang 50 first dates finally.. maganda pala siya), hindi din ako nakapagukay dahil naconfuse kami sa gateway at nauwi na kami sa bahay ni pam, at hindi pa din ako umiinom. nawalan nako ng gana. i think i'm going to start to live a sober life.

hi nigga G! pam the great, JB photographer (sorry ang lame wala nako maisip. haha), Bries karakas, cara anorexic, abe beybeh (wala lang para magrhyme), lebs drummer.

wala na kasi akong pera boy. tagaytay, steph luna's debut, at 4-1 trip ang haharapin ko this week. mali yon.

anyway ayon first time ko mapanood yung end ng fifty first dates at in fairness natiis ko hanggang end. haha. di kasi ako fan ng mga ganong romantic shit (di ako bitter ambagal lang kasi ng story.. mas gusto ko pa ultraviolet. mali kasi jologs eh.).. maganda pala! pero di ko pa rin napapanood ng buo. leche wag na nga wala lang kasi ako mablog about.

gusto ko nung swimsuit na nakita ko kanina sa rustans. ang kaso 1,600++ siya eh. mali yon.

nako dong

2006-04-02T16:05:00.000+08:00

tres ako sa kas. hayup! haha. oh well as long as pasado steady na ako. 2.25 ako sa chem. ayon, ayos na ayos yon mga chief. kasi akala ko bagsak na ako don, but no. 2.25, not bad for lil ol mediocre me. haha. i hope i'd do better next sem, i mean i'm sure this is not me at my best kasi kung oo eh di ang stupid ko naman. i refuse to believe that. haha. nagboost ng sariling ego eh. mali yon.

anyway, for tomorrow's activities: isaw, ukay, inom. the only things worth doing this summer for someone as cheap and as broke as i am. by the end of the summer, mataba na ako, amoy ipis at lusaw ang liver. maganda yan. as long as i'm having fun i guess. sa ngayon yun lang ata ang kaya kong gawing matino. yuck paawa effect.

in fairness, tanggap na ng nanay ko na umiinom ako. uhmm, medyo late eh. oh well at least ngayon mas ok na at hindi na siya nashoshock to find me smelling like shit (well not literally) going home after school. haylovet.

natutuwa naman ako. ang steady ng summer... mag-aaral nga ako magdrums. nakakfrustrate eh. or voice lessons. gusto ko yung diva voice. wahoo.

SCORE!

2006-04-02T15:10:00.000+08:00

wahahaha. so sabi ko nga sa aking last entry, asa party kami ni mai mai (pinsan ni pam na hindi ko nman friend at first time ko lang nakita kagabi) at lo and behold, andon si crush-nung-party-ni-pam. pucha. haha... after mga isang oras ng tuluy tuloy na paginom, lasing na siya finally at pinatulan na niya ako. haha. mali yon chief. hot sana eh, ang kaso may kulay ang hair (hmmm, sounds familiar...) nakascore me eh. wahahaha. mabango siya, gusto ko yung pabango niya. yung scent na gusto ko sa guys na di ko talaga malaman laman kung ano ang tawag. ang kaso nahaluan ng amoy chiko. mali yon. haha. pictures:

mali ito. oh well. happy birthday mai mai!

tapos na

2006-04-01T20:08:00.000+08:00

Tapos na lahat. ang kaso may art stud pa rin. haha. di kasi maopen yung files na sinend ko at uulitin ko sila ulit dahil hindi ako marunong magsave... ayon. uulitin... from the start

anyway i'm at pam's house for her cousin's debut. i don't even know the girl. mali eh. so what am i doing here?

i was at drews with jc and lauren yesterday. love these people.. sobrang steady vibes nila eh. i'm starting to like my classmates. nung di na kami classmates. haha.

di ko kilala ang coffee break. nakakahiya kasi sinabi ko sino ba sila tapos asa labas lang ata. mali kasi.

one day left

2006-03-30T20:01:00.000+08:00

isang araw nalang tapos na ang shit na sem na ito. can't wait 'til that bedamned subject gets done and i'll be free (art stud)... hanggang ngayon may ginagawa pa rin ako chief...

anyway, i've just gotten home from pam's house (my summer house) and i'm super full i might just puke. anway, enough with the disgusting details... i should really lose my tummy. it's disgusting. maybe even more disgusting that puking all over the pc. but i can't go on a diet, my limbs might shrink and i'd hate that. i can't exercise, i'm too lazy. so maybe i'll have to keep this big ball of lard in my torso until i get enough mone for lipo. wahahaha. psychotic mutoid (uy, new term )

i'm failing almost all my subjects. i must be adorable now because i'm stupid. yay julie!

kas 1: leche tong subject na to. don't ever take it. if you're like me of course, who cannot exert effort on something she finds unimportant.

art stud 1: mali eh. just don't take subjects with the number 1. one's a misnomer. no, the number does not indicate the level of difficulty. it denotes suckiness, number ONE being greatest in that field.

chem 16: punyeta wag na to.

anyway, i'm done with chem. just had my finals kanina. it was ok, i guess. but im not sure i'll pass.

after the exams we (me, jb, mich, pal, dana and lia) went to eastwood for lunch. pasto robbed me. fuckin' tax is just toooo heavy. i spent 237.90 on about 4 slices of pizza. i was shocked i couldn't finish a whole pizza. maybe i'm sick. or just too old. we played at power station. marunong mag-drums si mr. palisoc. hayup may hidden talent. mich an i sang wannabe and bohemian rhapsody at the videoke booth. lovet. ultimate talaga ang videoke.

we got back to UP and went to pam's. lebs wrote this song for keno:

ay leche wala sakin. i'll look for it later.

gusto ko na magsummer... classes. haha. dorque (eww, imbento ng spelling)

mali eh

2006-03-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

holy shit. how can i finish this project if i can't even start it? i have all these great ideas but i don't have the technical know-how to get them on so medyo hanggang ideas nalang sila. shit talaga bez. hassle ang kawalan ng hilig sa computers eh.

this week will be incredibly fucked up. mali eh, summer na nga lang pahihirapan ka pa. SAGABAL!!! onti nalang eh. onti nalang.

waaaaaaaah. i cannot wait to get everything done. MATAPOS KA NA! MATAPOS KA NA! bakit kaya kailangan pa akong mahirapan ng husto? what have i done to deserve this? actually yung problem is the fact that i haven't done anything. cramming is not good. i read that people cram to provide an early excuse for their inevitable failure. siguro nga i'm just laying rational grounds for failing what should be an easy subject by putting this whole thing off til the last minute. MALI EH.

may band na kami: MALIKAZI (only our true inner-circle friends would know exactly how to read this and what it actually means). tangena. haha. who would've thought?

pam's burdee

2006-03-26T16:42:00.000+08:00

ibang lebel bez eh. ika nga ni pam, "buhay ko to mula pa nung november". mukha nga bez.

ang hot ng vocalist ng mojofly. siya ang aking first girl crush. ang ganda ng suot niya bez, mali eh. tapos ang kinis ng skin... super super super hot. can i just say, nagmukha akong trapo sa picture naming dalawa. mali eh. hindi dapat tumatabi sa ganon sa events, di ka pansin eh.

so anyway the highlight of the night was once again jeepney joyride... super good vibes eh. nainjure pa nga ako kasi medyo nagcocollapse na sakin yung ibang tao... yung mga kailangan ng major support.

nagflying sexy girl din si pam. bez ang hot mo! sana kumanta ka na rin! haha.

o c'mon, random thoughts eh. medyo house kasi yung music so sabaw ang aking brain.

si *toot* ultimate sabawationzzz!!!! bez, mali eh. pero iba, party peeps eh! iba talaga pag caged at nakawala!!! ultimate casualty... love it!

mico samson on the loose! crush ko siya... iba eh, ang bait! caring and responsible... ang kaso may beer belly, medyo mali eh. sobrang bait talaga! yuck kala mo may pinagsamahan eh... pero iba naman talaga yung lebel ng understanding required to get soaked on somebody else's digestive juices... ang hot mo!!!

anyway etong bries na to gusto pang magupload ng pictures...

ay speaking of bries, iba ka bez!!! nakuha mo na si juno, nagbayad pa siya! mali eh.

brand spanking new

2006-03-22T18:16:00.000+08:00

you know what i really want right now? a clean slate. a fresh start. i just want this dirty, messed up time to pass and get my spanking new life underway. but first i need money to finance this self-initiated extreme makeover. anaknamputs. how candymag ditzy could i get?

i had my hair cut last monday. art stud was cancelled and i was bored so lauren and i decided to try our luck and get our hair done at sc. after 30 minutes, i lost 80 pesos and 5 inches of my hair. i feel so much lighter and so much smarter. uhmm julie, connection?

i need a job. summer is impossible to enjoy without money. i need money.

yesterday, i lost to team coloma at an isaw-eating contest. i lost to an atenean at a streetfood eating contest. and here i was thinking i was street. so anyway, i challenged team coloma and team gutierrez to another competition... this time it will be ruthless. it will be even more disturbing. it will be named the battle of the century. it will be the Great McDo Challenge. yep kids, the same mcdo challenge over which i lost my phone about 2 months ago. pinoy big brother will pale in comparison to this one... team coloma, team gutierrez, are you ready?

i just read other people's blogs and i'm disturbed by the incoherence and senselessness of my entries. but then i look at my layout (sailormoon) and think, why start being sensitive and insightful now?

crs started 2 days ago and i forgot all about it until kikay reminded me. God bless responsible friends. anyway, i still don't know what to take or if i'm having summer classes at all so i've only stared pointlessly at the crs page for the longest time.

i cannot believe i didn't blog about the chem exam. it went fine. but it should, since all the rest went tragically. i got a 99. haha. you should see the look on my mother's face (the my-daughter-got-into-UP-face) when she heard that. butdenagen my friends, over 150 siya so it wasn't really a big deal. but at least i passed. i'm such a mediocre student im not even aiming for a 1-point-something in chem. a 3's fine. a 2'll be great. i don't get how people could get straight unos. haha. i haven't even gotten one. i really need to change my strategy. no, scratch that. i need a strategy.

can't wait for pam's party *after-ihi kilig*. time to drink and forget.

wow may title bar na. thank God.

2006-03-16T18:23:00.000+08:00

shet onti nalang... isang kadyot pa at tapos na ang aking paghihirap. screw this sem. it hates me, i hate it more. break na tayo.

anyway, i'm still working on this thing for art stud. fucking subject's not even a major, yet it still manages to be an incredible burden. i'm not even an art fan nor do i have the mental capacity or emotional depth to understand any of it. besides, i'm really considering consulting a shrink because i think i'm developing a late learning disability. funny, just when i need brain power most.

chem exam's in two days.. haven't even started. it's not like i can, i mean there's just too much going on (uhmm, ano nga ba?).. i'm failing so i really have to ace this one. if i don't, well good bye psychology. i might have to shift to mbb (anakng).

eww. all i've talked about is academics. well it's not like my social life's a rousing success at the moment. everything's in steady mode, which is good, i think. summer's coming up, i have to conserve energy (and money). can't wait. can't wait til lent's over. i want my life back.

i think i'm the only bs psych student who's not taking math 100 this summer. i can't do it, it's too much. THREE whole hours of math every single day of your "break", it's just not worth it. i'd rather take some PE and get in shape for a decent swimsuit.

by the way, it think people think i'm ditzy (minus the blonde hair and big boobs). i'm beginning to feel ditzy too. haha. there's just too much brain power sometimes it's tiring.

i hate debaters. wala lang random thought. anyway to my debater friends (although i can't think of anyone. yeah, i must truly hate debaters) you know i like you.

oh my gulay. that's too incoherent.

2006-03-14T18:57:00.000+08:00

uhmm, bakit sailormoon bigla? buhlalungz (aww, missed saying that). check out the tagboard, it's actually working. mantakin mo.

wow. today was the last day of mfing chemistry (for me at least, i'm having second thoughts on attending the last two classes) and i can't be more neurotically happy about it. it's so bad that i can't even decide which subject to hate more - that demonic, record-staining, future-ending, ego-shrinking, chemistry sixteen or that what-the-hell-is-this-for-anyway, past-is-past-bez, kasaysayan one. hay. why do i do this to myself?

anyway, nothing's happening to me. i don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. oh well. i'm just looking forward to pam's party. then something will happen to me. haha. by the way, i'm abstaining from alcohol. it's my lenten sacrifice. following that drews drink off, i've decided that drinking is bad for you, and your friends. tsk. sorry gaye! don't worry, not once did i mention your name, and since apparently this guy of yours is such a colossal success among a lot of girls, he wouldn't really know who called.

anyway ayoko na.

2006-03-09T20:48:00.000+08:00

so ayon, nagdebut na ako. haylavet. i can't believe i was considering not having one... to all you girls who are confused and think that it's too much of a hassle, hindi eh. sobrang you need to celebrate this. once in a lifetime nga naman. that laptop can wait. you'll have that car eventually. but this one, hindi eh. unless you have this unsettled inner-conflict at feeling mong lalake kang 21 pa magdedebut, then go, mag-antay ka muna ng mga tatlong taon.

grabe siempre nalate ako ng medyo mga isang oras. and no, it's not 'cause i was playing diva. no, never. sadyang may mga bagay lang na hindi dapat inaapura. sorry nga pala sa mga nagutom. so there, niggaG made the entrance na may oompa loompa dance pa. haha. lavet. tapos yung entrance ko na. haha. napaka-undebuish eh. none of those formal marches shit... haylavet. then i had the little crown (tiara siya actually but since i'm the queen, crown yon) which kikay used din. haha. little peste tradition i guess. basta the best!!!

ang pink ng place, ang black ng crowd at ang pink ko. i'd love to show you the beautiful pictures that blessed Kuya Dan took, but no, sira ang multiply. leche. oh well. that can wait. masarap daw ang food, but then again, di ako nakakain eh. pati di rin ako masyadong nakainom. ganon ata talaga. si glynel din di nakakain nung debut niya. sayang. sa pictures ko nalang sila nanamnamin.

haylavet. buti di ako lasing and i remember ever bit of it. thanks sa lahat ng pumunta (especially mga nagregalo. haha). i love my life. all 18 years of it pati na rin yung susunod (sana meron diba. kamusta naman ang sudden death.).

2006-03-02T22:55:00.000+08:00

o c'mon. eighteen na ako mga boy. hayup! anyway, steady vibes lang ang birthday ko, kasi walang pasok. anak talaga ng kung ano man yang mga leftists/pasikat people na yan. pfft. oh well.

ang jologs ng skin. wala kasing graduation na maganda eh. alam niyo na, seasonal ang effect.

2006-02-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

wow. in a little over three hours, i'd be

EIGHTEEN

pwede ko nang matupad ang pangarap kong sumali sa game ka na ba. oh yes. i cannot wait.

i don't even know why i'm so nervous, it's stupid. i don't think any of my friends felt so apprehensive about being eighteen. parang nung nagcollege ako, haha. kasi nga meron akong false notion na lahat ng eighteen/college kids malalaki, at heto ako maliit. plus wala pa rin akong cellphone at pano ako magigreet ng aking friends? sino kaya dapat ang unang mangggreet sakin? sino kaya yung tatawag pa? hay bad vibes talaga. oh well.

Lord sana maging masaya na ako at mabawasbawasan na ang aking pagiging selfish pag eighteen na ako.

speaking of being selfish. since when was selfishness ok? i don't get it. it's this whole individualism/egotism/make-me-king movement that's sucking all the morality and compassion out of human beings. i blame rap artists. today, the meaner, the better. people take pride in making others' lives miserable. and the angriest people are also among the ugliest. positive correlation boy. i choose to be beautiful. i choose to be happy (anger-free)

2006-02-24T21:52:00.000+08:00

why? why is this happening to me? maling mali eh. wrong combination. wrong wrong wrong.

i can't believe i have to deal with someone else's crap on my birthday. people should be dealing with my crap. it's my birthday.

BUTDENAGEN. holy mother of pearl. kumbakit ba naman kasi kinailangan, kinailangan pa talagang umabot sa ganito ang lahat. pwede namang gumamit nalang tayong lahat ng mailap na "common sense" o lohika diba. pero hindi. sadyang may mga taong salat sa ganon. thus, bring on the "ruin julie's birthday" project.

Lord, help me. kailangan ko po ng patience. patience. patience.

birthday ko na. 3 days nalang 18 na ako. pero ang liit ko pa rin. dati tingin ko sa mga 18 malalaki (well some of them are, and usually leche sila). ang weird.

nako kung anu-ano na naman ang nangyayari sa labas. si randy david hinuli... si erap namamaga ang mata... si *toot* binibwisit ako. oh well. i think a little drama won't hurt. nakakatawa nga yung sabi ng isang elitista (wild guess kung sino to) "papet pasista pahirap kay gloria, patalsikin ang masa!" cute.

anyway, i better get going with my tita's paper (it's a fun job).

2006-02-19T15:13:00.000+08:00

i love this picture:
http://images.jbjbjb.multiply.com/image/2/photos/30/500x500/23.JPG?enctoken=UmFuZG9tSVZ.zzHEJqmKiyuysLY1M9.fQa,uilQfE18HJJuXprVmaO9OE4FRXUVF">

and this one too:
http://images.jbjbjb.multiply.com/image/2/photos/30/500x500/17.JPG?enctoken=UmFuZG9tSVZ.zzHEJqmKiyuysLY1M9.fQa,uilQfE198N5tnvItqLDvx0Mh1hd2y">

i love this week. super light. steady vibes.

monday: i don't remember
tuesday: valentine's day. spent with jb, pam s., gab, lebs, j(hey jo!), close up to fame bio boy (oo magkasama kaming nagdinner, magkaiba nga lang ng table), kikay, rich, peste people, sir major, and a lot of fair-going strangers.
wednesday: met pam and jaypee at cello's, jollibee ulit, nail salon
thursday: bidding. putanginanghayup. talo ako mga bez. at nashock ako, i was willing to pay 2300 for a guy? buti nalang natalo ako, kung hindi i might have to hurt myself to compensate for the stupidity.
friday: kikay's birthday! surprise, dinner at shakeys, cantina with pam and gab and jeybs...
saturday: ambushed by gab, abe, cara and diane (umm, kikidnapin ba ako), ayen's debut
sunday: uhmm, gumagawa ng paper. haha. shet.

thanks niggas! i love you sobra. salamat at nagkita kita tayong muli.

ay wait, ansama pero sige wag na. payo nalang: wag niyong subuking bumeso sa isang lasing na hindi niyo naman talaga friend in the first place. sorry. last mean thing ko na to.

shet debut ko na! wala pa akong gown, cake at fountain (uhmm julie, what for?) basta. bahala na nga.

2006-02-12T21:20:00.000+08:00

grabe, di ko talaga maayos ang aking tagboard. it's the weirdest tagboard ever so sorry for the inconvenience.

anyway, due to persistent public demand, i am going to put up a wish list for my birthday. you know me, always willing to help. i'd hate for you to waste time looking for the perfect gift for me so i'll tell you exactly what i want. haha. of course i'm leaving room for creativity (i.e. gift wrapping, etc.) putek ang kapal ba ng mukha ko.

2006-02-08T19:59:00.000+08:00

grabe yung sa ultra. sobrang lungkot. i was doing my thing at the bathroom when i heard of what happened. nakakaiyak. sobrang lala. it's not just the useless deaths, it's the reason behind them. all they wanted was a chance at a better life that they just can't get elsewhere. you can't really blame people for lining up for a gameshow instead of looking for a job; there just aren't enough. you can't blame willy because God knows he couldn't have done anything (seriously, he's not even the source of all the cash prizes). you can't blame God (He's perfect, we're just so messed up). so who are we to blame? i don't know. let's just help.

2006-01-31T22:02:00.000+08:00

this is obviously not right yet. i have to edit stuff so help me God. making the tagboard work is as always quite an ordeal so i'll have to work on that later.

i am really annoyed by ungrateful, shameless people whose childhood is so disturbed that they carry over their unacceptable behavior to pre-adulthood. it's just sad. it's this whole rebel thing; little immature acts of insecurity. i hope this little (no, wrong adjective) sloth gets over it soon before it consumes her entirely and worsens her already pitiful existence. i guess i just have to try to understand her peculiar behavior and just thank God for sending me a nice psych subject. oh no, here i go again with hatred. i will not hate. i will not hate. i will not hate...

so last saturday we went to wasabi for amanda's surprise party, but we were late and we didn't get to see the surprise part. anyway, it was fun seeing those people again and being among the great ME people. the food was good and drinks were even better except for that little mango shake incident that left me icky the whole night. so like fifteen minutes into it, pam tells me she's seen a cute guy and as we tend to get attracted to the same guys, she wanted to know if i'd find her prospect hot. lo and behold, her guy was the first cute guy i saw. he kinda looks like my up crush and pam's other crush too. then we found out that he was from the band, and again, he was the vocalist, vocalist in a band playing at a friend's debut. uhmm, sounds family? haha. i swear i really don't get why i crush on vocalists because i usually don't appreciate musically inclined boys (except for drummers. we all love drummers). anyway, pam and i sat at the bar to have a better view of the band (and for the band to have a better view of us. hihihi..) then we saw it. i huge chunk of fat projecting from his chin. our guy was fat. not even cute fat, just fat. i mean, it would have been ok if he had a face for fat people, but no, his bone structure is definitely for less flesh. so never mind. haha. we just turned our attention to the free drinks.

we went to ponti after the party (i swear i tried to de-rhyme that) but we were there for like less than half an hour? anyway, their zombie was the strongest i've had yet. i mean it should be, they were ridiculously priced.

i don't know how to end this decently. i want a new phone. maybe a nokia or a samsung. but kikay says samsung phones retire early; hers did in around 6 months. still, that's longer than just a month (my last phone's lifetime) so it's not like it matters...

oh and jb and i went to mcdo to celebrate (?) my phone's one week of loss. i'm so glad i'm completely over it. thank You Lord.

2006-01-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

HOLY CRAP. i lost my phone in the one place (except my house of course) where i trust everyone - mcdo katipunan. are you effing kidding me? grabe, medyo luma na to kasi last tuesday pa naganap ang kahimbal himbal na nakawan, pero the wound's still fresh. i remember it like it was just yesterday...

after half a chem lab class (major's really good to us the past few days), jb and i didn't know what to do to purge ourselves of the ridiculous chem vibe so we called kikay and found out that she's at mcdo with joseph, kuy and micah. so there, mcdo nalang (as always). so lia, being the generous girl that she is (naks) dropped us there (thanks lia, nasave mo kami ng P15.00). i swear, sobrang normal, i never saw it coming, i mean, who would? so there, we found their table, sat and bought food with our ang paos. then kikay and joseph left. then we remembered kikay had all the ang paos and we wanted to buy more food so we called her. they can't go back so medyo disappointed ang effect namin. i was praying, "God, bigyan mo kami ng ang pao, kahit 'tig isa lang", but God, being the generous God that he is (naks) gave us more ang paos than we can actually spend for a year of our own "super size" documentary. grabe, tawang tawa kami eh, God provides! ayos. then we noticed that mcdo katipunan is already open 24/7. we thought of living in mcdo for three days since nobody would notice as long as we buy food (with our dependable ang paos), thus the "McDo challenge" was born. we were laughing at all the ridiculous things we thought of doing as "mental, physical, whatever else challenges" for the longest time. tapos kaboom. wala na akong phone.

it was so stupid, my bag was beside me, between jb and i, my phone was inside. still, it got stolen. naks. i may be the easiest person to steal from. there was this guy that i was suspecting of stealing my phone and i knew i was going to regret it forever if i did not confront him so i did. then another round of drama. we were shouting at each other. i still can't believe i did that, in front of mcdo. basta. ultlimate ultimate shit eh. ewan ko ba kung bakit nagkaganon. haha. oh well, i'm over it. God is too good to me. i can't sulk for too long. malala pala, one month exactly ko palang siya nagagamit.

Julie's Phone

December 24, 2005-January 24, 2006

anyway, as i don't deal well with depression, we went to cantina. wow. masyadong mahal para sa walang effect na drinks. i got home, slept and woke up at 2 am with a bad hangover. so may effect pala. sana pinangfood scrub ko nalang yung pera. oh well, for future catastrophes, alam kona ang gagawin ko.

Thank you God for helping me get over this. thank you jb for confronting the stupid "seminarista". thank you kuy, micah and mico for being there when i was freaking out. thank you ayen and pal for being at cantina (and for pal's donation). thank you kikay for your concern. thank you pam c for your honesty (nung una naming pagkikita after mawala, sabi ba naman "ang irresponsible mo!" haha. but seriously, natawa talaga ako. the best ka.) hay. ayos na, steady na ulit.

happy chinese new year! (i'd say it in chinese but i forget how to spell it so wag nalang, effort)

2006-01-23T21:06:00.000+08:00

bagong layout. gawa ko to. obviously i'm kidding.

i really want to have a haircut. i wan't my hair super short. the kind that i would probably cry over ten years ago. yeah i think i'm gonna do it. kala mo life changing decision eh. i swear i'm getting dumber by the minute. ang chapi pa ng sentences ko.

anyway, i've decided to dedicate this entry to our hero (or at least for the next week or so) Mr. Manny Pacquiao

i woke up at 8 am yesterday but that has nothing to do with the fight, i just wake up early now. anyway, i watched the whole program from the first fight (ang galing din nung isang pinoy, better than we give him credit for) until the main event, chan chararan... Pacquiao vs. Morales!

i won't go on about the fight because i'm sure you watched it (and if you didn't, putek wag ka na. haha.) instead i will tell you how manny inspired me to be a better person. shit joke lang. of course he didn't. he inspired me to become a money raking machine (mozta ang paycheck natin diyan diba) and to record an album as a tribute to my greatness. funny how manny has to earn a lot to have an album when other people have to make an album to get some money. if anyone could offer me a job, like ghost singing, please contact me. i need the money. magsasara na ang 168.

i'll continue this later.

2006-01-20T22:33:00.001+08:00

nalilinawan na ako ngayon sa mga pangyayaring matagal nang yari. gets? basta, ewan ko ba, i've always been biased and my thoughts have always been predisposed to opposing some people that i never really saw things that way. kung ano yung 'things' at kung anong 'way' ang tinutukuy ko, wag na, i won't tell.

anyway, i just attended this youth camp for UP-YFC last weekend and all i can say is, it was the ultimate *insert curse word that i refuse to say from now on here*. the place was really nice and it was far enough to feel like i was on vacation. nice refreshing break from a long draining break i call school. bez, parang nagffloat nalang ako from class to class, going in empty, going out 'emptier'. everything about the camp was great, the venue was great, the food was great, the people were great, the speakers were great, the sharers were great... the experience was just great. retreat mode ako eh, ang kaso medyo tulog ako nang tulog so i missed a chunk of it. tsk. eto pa, parang ang achiever kids ng mga tao don eh, everybody can sing (i mean in tune ah) and everybody can dance (street, folk or social) and everybody talks. the tongues workshop was the geatest one i've ever had. i was actually having goosebumps while we were at it. it was quite scary at one point but we dealt with it. basta, this was a different camp. nice and organized... i think they really achieved what they wanted to achieve. to think they're saying the camp wasn't really on schedule and that they weren't really prepared...

what else, what else... ayoko na pala. uhmm. i really like being part of yfc. wow, i think that's the first time i ever said that. but that's not just 'cause of up yfc. i really like my community. naks julie.

2006-01-11T21:29:00.000+08:00

due to an overwhelming flow of request for a new layout for my blog (kala mo kung gano karami may gusto eh), i changed it. there. of course i still wasn't the creator of this layout and i give full credit to whoever made it, wherever s/he may be. God bless you.

a lot of things almost happened to me this week (to think third day palang ito), the key term there being "almost". haha. i don't even know if i should be sorry that they didn't happen, because some of them actually entail a huge risk of self-destruction (haha. again, oa ako). most of them are personal and i really shouldn't spend too much characters on them because they are dismissable and unimportant. however, my almost being at breakfast is something that i'd really have to blog about to exhaust all the glory that could be juiced out of this opportunity. ang great no? haha. pero sayang, di namin kaya. haha. it's too effing intellectual. medyo kapos tayo sa mga ganyang current events effect. haha. oh well, maggguinea pig nalang kami ni kikay sa makeup! watch out for our big debut.

meron nga pala akong dapat gawing mahaba habang entry tungkol sa sexism in religious organizations. sobrang napansin ko lang at marami rami ang realizations ko kaya next time nalang, when i don't have to pay for every effing minute i spend in front of the computer (opo, computer shop na naman ito). basta hindi lang nakakatuwa. oh well.

2006-01-01T20:09:00.001+08:00

ok. so medyo matagal tagal akong di nagcomputer dahil nabbv ako sa nagearly retirement naming mouse, effort pang mag tab, alt, ctrl, shift at kung anu-ano pang "shortcuts" na i never knew existed. ultimate hassle.

nakalipas na naman ang isang taon at heto pa rin ako, same vital stats, same friends, same personality (senuh, may ganon pa ako). nothing's changed. medyo low on cash pa rin ako (na talaga namang di ko maintindihan kung bakit) at tv pa rin ang aking katuwang sa buhay. my goodness. para akong fat bastard na hindi fat at hindi rin bastard. basta gets? ewan.

by the way, medyo namulat na ata si itay sa posibilidad na hindi na ako bata. hinayaan na niya akong magfundador nung new year's eve. ayos eh. medyo inis effect nga lang si mama pero wala na ring nagawa. actually feeling ko lasing lang si dad kaya ganon, at ayaw na niyang ubusing magisa yung fundador (dahil medyo mahina yung kainuman niyang nobyo ng masama kong tita). so akala ko ok na, but then again, after my first shot na medyo kalahating baso lang, pinatigil na ako. isang malaking o c'mon. anyway ayos lang. one itty bitty step at a time, i guess.

so pasukan na ata namin bukas. ewan ko ba. 'di ako sure kung may pasok nga ako. pero sige na rin, baon din yon.

ayoko na nga. i have nothing brilliant to say. but then again, kelan ba meron. o c'mon. fishing si julie. haha. o sha sha....

Happy New Year!

2006-01-01T20:09:00.000+08:00
ok. so medyo matagal tagal akong di nagcomputer dahil nabbv ako sa nagearly retirement naming mouse, effort pang mag tab, alt, ctrl, shift at kung anu-ano pang "shortcuts" na i never knew existed. ultimate hassle.

nakalipas na naman ang isang taon at heto pa rin ako, same vital stats, same friends, same personality (senuh, may ganon pa ako). nothing's changed. medyo low on cash pa rin ako (na talaga namang di ko maintindihan kung bakit) at tv pa rin ang aking katuwang sa buhay. my goodness. para akong fat bastard na hindi fat at hindi rin bastard. basta gets? ewan.

by the way, medyo namulat na ata si itay sa posibilidad na hindi na ako bata. hinayaan na niya akong magfundador nung new year's eve. ayos eh. medyo inis effect nga lang si mama pero wala na ring nagawa. actually feeling ko lasing lang si dad kaya ganon, at ayaw na niyang ubusing magisa yung fundador (dahil medyo mahina yung kainuman niyang nobyo ng masama kong tita). so akala ko ok na, but then again, after my first shot na medyo kalahating baso lang, pinatigil na ako. isang malaking o c'mon. anyway ayos lang. one itty bitty step at a time, i guess.

so pasukan na ata namin bukas. ewan ko ba. 'di ako sure kung may pasok nga ako. pero sige na rin, baon din yon.

ayoko na nga. i have nothing brilliant to say. but then again, kelan ba meron. o c'mon. fishing si julie. haha. o sha sha....
Happy New Year!

2005-12-24T18:44:00.000+08:00
before i launch into full blogging mode, i just want to say that i am using a mouse-less computer. i've been surfing the internet and chatting using only the keyboard. it's been hard.

first of all, i finally have a working cellphone. thank God (and dad). it was supposed to be a surprise thing. he had it wrapped but there wasn't a gift tag because he was sure i was going to open it anyway even if it wasn't addressed to me (which is true in all but one, this one, occasion). anyway, when they got home and saw that i haven't opened it yet, my sister opened it and let out a nonchalant "ay cellphone ni ate". uhmm. haha. i love my family, we are the less grim version of the adams.

second, thank you JB!!! the best gift mo. haha. it's so well thought out. free delivery pa! ayos. haha. but then again because of that, i feel like i have to get you a 10 megapixel cam or a boyfriend (we know that's the only thing that could top a digicam). yehey! by the way, the curlers work, for my sister at least. i haven't tried them yet.

heto pa pala. ang walang hiyang freeloading, ungrateful tita ko ay nagmumuryot na naman at nababad vibes na ako sa kanya kaya lalo ko siyang pinapabad vibes. i mean, cmon. how immature are you? nakakatawa, nung nagdadabog siya sabi ko, "ang ingay mo." sabay kanta ng "i'm like a bird" by nelly furtado. haha. if it weren't for my mom's peacekeeping request, i would've told her how fugly she and her boyfriend are as a couple. the pagdadabog went on 'til morning. i was smiling like a loose psychopath (but not as deranged as her kind) just to piss her off. what an immature old hag. i pity her, really. it must be sad to be nicknamed "aso" by your nieces (my cousins call her that 'cause she acts like a rabied dog ready to pounce on anyone in her bloody path). hell, if you end up fighting with everyone you live with (ang kapal eh, nakikitira na nga lang), there must be something terribly wrong with you. what a curious psych subject.

anyway, it's a really cold christmas season. ang lamig ng pasko, literal. none of those "why-can't-i-have-a-boyfriend-to-cuddle-and-sip-hot-cocoa-with?" rantings. i have a great family to warm my christmas up. thank You Lord. happy birthday!

2005-12-22T15:59:00.000+08:00
andito ako ngayon kay ayla at may natuklasan ako: Hindi ko na mahahanap ang aking one true love. multiply na mismo ang nagsabi. bad vibes. wala na tayong magagawa pag nagdesisyon na ang multiply.

anyway, manonood ata kami ngayon ng king kong. thank God, nakaalis din ako ng bahay. five days straight akong walang human interaction. as in ako lang at ang tv... for five days. ayos ah. musta naman ang pagcultivate ng aking social skills. whooh.

2005-12-20T19:17:00.000+08:00
There comes a point (or in many cases, several points) in a person's life when she is just done caring about other people's feelings, which are actually just little fits of egotism most of the time. fortunately for those whose lives are marked by my constant presence, i haven't yet reached that pinnacle of indifference, contrary to popular belief. i still am and, as it appears, always will be an observer, a conformist and a pushover. sadly, assertiveness is not of abundance in my personality, compared to my overflowing desire to please. my passivity in my dealings with the world will ultimately lead to my unending unhappiness and dissatisfaction, with the lingering thoughts of shoulda woulda couldas. it's just sad.

and of course i'm exaggerating. i'm just trying to show you how a person drowning in self-pity would have blogged about her existence. however, i do think i lack assertiveness. where could i buy that? maybe i should borrow some from *name withheld on the grounds of peer betrayal*, who has assertiveness at dangerous, actually virulent levels.

wow. there. something just happened to back up the pretty much established fact that i am weak. is it because i'm a psych major? is my giving attitude a mere euphimism of a highbrow, condescending interaction with the "less-informed"? do i let other people have their way because i think i know better? arrogant as i am, i think it's more than that. i'm done psychoanalyzing myself. i have four to nine more years for that.

two nights ago, when i was (again) reflecting on my relationship with God, i thought of how overused "God quotes" are (in fact, they were constantly mentioned in the not-so-recent reason of my being grounded). none of them actually make sense when i take time to think about them logically, yet i tenaciously rehearse them over and over like an LSS. then i thought of the saying, "God moves in mysterious ways", most satisfying of all divine excuses. sometimes, this could be misleading. we often look for miracles, those "mysterious moves" by God, that we overlook the most basic, obvious, "natural" blessings. it doesn't have to be cryptic to be heaven sent. divine intervention isn't always accompanied by the parting of the sky, a blinding beam of light and a choir of angels. sometimes, it's just water vapor forming coulds that condense to rain to fill the la mesa dam for the not-so-rainy days. Isn't God just great?

2005-12-18T22:15:00.001+08:00
"Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again.", sabi ni peter
"never is an awfully long time...", sagot ni wendy.

grabe, crush ko talaga si peter pan (and no, not because he's a kid, jb, pam, and the rest of you). he's one of those guys that you wish really existed. i remember religiously watching the cartoon series on abs-cbn and dreaming of being wendy. being wendy, i'd be able to fly (cheese), tell stories to gaping little kids (which i still do, sometimes. but in a different, more deceptive context) and be worshipped like a goddess for every little thing i do (oh yes.)

it's fun to remember those days when fun was about tv and spaghetti. just hand me the remote and shove food into my mouth every so often and i'm good and kept silent for an indefinite amount of time. sometimes i wish i were stuck in neverland as well. not only would i have a whole island's worth of adoration, i'd never have to worry about the idiosyncrasies of adulthood either. but like wendy said, never is an awfully long time. unique as i like to think of myself, i too, have to grow up along with the other unfortunate souls of my age. otherwise, the leadership of this country will be left to the incompetent forever, and forever is even more awful than never.

much as i loved Peter Pan, the movie left me depressed and sullen (in fact, as i write this entry i still have that sinking feeling in my stomach). why on earth didn't they just end that story with peter pan being the long lost child of mr. darling's boss and then marry wendy when they grow up? onga naman. the problem's with the growing up party. peter pan is never to grow up, otherwise kids of future generations wouldn't have him to dream about anymore. how selfish of me.

anyway, here are some of the memorable lines from the movie:

Captain Hook: If I were you, I'd give up.
Peter: If you were me, I'd be ugly.

Peter: I want always to be a boy, and have fun.
Wendy: You say so, Peter, but I think it is your biggest pretend.

Wendy: Surely you must have felt love once for something... or someone.
Peter: Never. Even the sound of it offends me.
[Wendy tries to touch his face, and he jumps away]
Peter: Why do you have to spoil everything? We have fun, don't we? I taught you to fly and to fight. What more could there be?
Wendy: There is so much more.
Peter: What? What else is there?
Wendy: I don't know. I guess it becomes clearer when you grow up.
Peter: Well, I will not grow up. You can not make me.

Wendy: Yes but he was rather lonely.
Hook: Lonely. He needed a Wendy.

Hook: A kiss. He does feel. He feels for you.

Hook: What of Pan? Would unhappy thoughts bring him down?
Wendy: He has no unhappy thoughts.

Peter: Then leave. And take your feelings with you.

Wendy: Peter... I should like to give you a kiss.
[Peter holds his hand out]
Wendy: Don't you know what a kiss is?
Peter: I shall know when you give me one.

Slightly: I remember kisses, let me see. Aye, that is a kiss. A powerful thing.

Mrs. Darling: There are many different kinds of bravery. There's the bravery of thinking of others before one's self. Now, your father has never brandished a sword nor... nor fired a pistol, thank heavens. But he has made many sacrifices for his family, and put away many dreams.
Michael: Where did he put them?
Mrs. Darling: He put them in a drawer. And sometimes, late at night, we take them out and admire them. But it gets harder and harder to close the drawer... and he does. And that is why he is brave.

Peter: Wendy? One girl's worth more than 20 boys.

Peter: Girls are much to clever to fall out of their prams.

Wendy: This belongs to you, and always will.

Hook: Pan... you're pink.

wow. i must have really loved Peter Pan.

2005-12-16T18:05:00.001+08:00
I'M IN LOVE WITH UP.

wow. i've never been so proud to be a UP student (i'd say iska, but i still do pay 6013 pesos so... haha. julie, the ungrateful freeloader)than when people from everywhere flocked my school to watch *toot* on the loose (haha. i still use this lebs statement from last year.) it was nice (no, not it). bitin nga lang (in more ways than one. hihihi).

anyway, the highest high was when we got shot for rpn news. this is it. if PBB can't get me on tv, the oblation run will. thank you, alpha phi omega boys. by the way, it already got featured last night, and i wasn't able to catch it.
I missed my own national tv debut.
if i missed that, what other personal milestones am i going to miss? argh. haha. sorry, i don't mean to sound so narcissistic, i just am.

after the "dance of the brave" (oh and brave they were for subjecting themselves to attacks on their masculinity), we met up with Mico for lunch. we ate at Chicken Bacolod, which i learned (after spending 13 years in Katipunan) is actually a pretty good restaurant. see how you never really see the beauty of something until you move away from it far enough to see it clearly? yes, and i'm still talking about Chicken Bacolod.

after lunch, we got back to UP to get some snowcone in front of BA (although i didn't get any. weird turn of events. hehe). so we started to cross the street and lo and behold - Raef on the loose! he was running a marathon, i think. aww! haha. so crush number 1 was there (the number assigned is chronological, as in in order of time of "crushing"). i tried to wait for him but the Psych party was calling (and another somebody. hihi) so we walked to PHAN. ultimate ang songs sa Psych party! as soon as i heard the first song playing (i can't remember which it was though), i knew, PSYCH REALLY IS THE COURSE FOR ME. ultimate good vibes!!! Pam C and I were "getting our groove on" to the tune of the best 1990s dance songs. as in yung mga chinese chinese pa ata yun. basta the best! you know those song-and-choreo packages? i love 'em. by the way, crush number 2 wasn't there.

for some reason, we found ourselves walking the length of that road in front of the eng building. wow. i can't even describe the overwhelming joy and energy that was flooding through me that time. i won't talk about it anymore to keep the sanctity of that moment. hehe.

then it was time for the lantern parade, where my camera stubbornly gave up on me. wow, just in time for that huge float thing. there were beautiful, uhm, lanterns? basta they were really pretty and some were so humorously clever, i ran after them. joke lang. by the way, i saw crush no. 1 again. oh how i love drummers...

after aimlessly walking for about an hour, we ended up at mico's party car (unanimously voted as favorite ride). after soaking up the "party vibe", we went somewhere (sorry, you know how i get with new places) and watched the fireworks display thoughtfully spent on by our budget-deprived school. it was soooo overwhelming. i love fireworks. they are among the best chinese inventions. thank you, chinese people. what was even more overwhelming were the smiley-face fireworks. moments before they blasted those, i was actually wondering whether we have them here in the Philippines. wait, it's so true that i have to say it again, I LOVE FIREWORKS. i probaly love fireworks more than i love ice cream. or balloons. or pedicures. or massages. i think i'll add fireworks on my wish list.
when the fireworks display was done, we were all almost-teary-eyed. I LOVE FIREWORKS. we saw Ayen and Shobe at the other side of Mico's car. uhm, mozta, di ba kami nagkita. haha. then, as i was talking to my giddy friends, a certain someone pops out of nowhere, says hi to shobe and walks away. guess who that was? no other than the french/ilocano/manok crush number 2!!! wow. God is sooooo good. anyway, we saw, of all people, Mr. Dino Pineda, loitering on our University grounds, wearing his complete Ateneo "costume": Ateneo jacket, ateneo shirt, ateneo grade school shorts. wow, Dino.

hay. i wish everyday in UP went like that. unfortunately, that would be impossible, because not only is UP an actual school, it also lacks the budget to make me high on pyrotechnic smoke 365 days a year. but thanks so much. i loved it.

2005-12-13T21:13:00.000+08:00
isn't this sad? i actually have time to type the same entry twice (stupid computer wouldn't cooperate). it's hard being grounded, especially if you're not even sure if you're really grounded.

tsk. 'tis the season to be jolly (everytime i hear this word i mistake it for a barok somebody calling me) and 'tis definitely time to party, BUTEDENAGEN... bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep goes my life line. they have pulled the plug on my social respirator (yeah, as if i'm not having enough problems with this) and i am now, a sad social cadaver. open me up, explore my insides and learn from the mistakes that landed me in this cold metal bed. haha. cheese.

anyway, i'm done with all this negativity. hatred is weighing on me, and it's not even directed to anyone in particular. it's just pure, unadulterated, non-specific hatred. i hate. i'm a hater. i should stop.

what know what afro-saxon means? they are those white kids who act black. think Justin Timberlake, Nick Carter and that other kid that looks like Nick Carter's brother. why do boy band boys choose the path to afro-saxonity? do they do this to compensate for the extreme cheesiness that they infested the 90s with? so how does being an overly confident, egotistic, sex-crazed nigga help the situation? (ok, i'm not saying black people are like that, it's just that those hip-hop kids like being treated that way)

ayoko na. ang gusto ko havaianas. *best please-santa smile*

2005-12-11T23:15:00.000+08:00
wow. i just realized how big my real problem is: my faith is starting to falter. my relationship with God is not at its best, i guess. I just don't feel His presence as much as I did before. or maybe i've just been less sensitive...

sometimes, religious (for the lack of a better, less discriminating term) people have a harder time containing their frustrations. we often question why bad things happen to us, why we can't always have things our way, when we have so much faith in Him. Why do good things happen to those who don't believe in Him, or who would not even take 30 seconds of their time for thanksgiving? sometimes it feels like our faith is more of a burden, like something that heightens our expectations of how things should be, thus making bigger room for disappointment. but then maybe we take our faith for granted. maybe faith is the blessing in itself. the fact that we have the faith makes us more blessed than any other freakishly blessed but spiritually dry person out there. thank You God for my faith.

anyway, just in case you're feeling the same way right now, here's a reassurance: God loves you. If you can't feel His love, try being more sensitive. block out the negativity and let God's love overwhelm you. God bless, brothers and sisters!

2005-12-11T21:08:00.000+08:00
shit. i'm grounded. grounded like ground beef. actually nobody told me i was grounded, i just declared myself grounded because my mom wouldn't talk to me to tell me i'm grounded. haha. so medyo lie low muna ako mga dong. bad vibes, christmas party time pa naman. sabi siguro ni God, kailangan ko ng alone time to reflect (as if i don't have enough alone time already. tssss.)

teka, may joke yung ninong kong super kaduper corny, i don't even know why it should be funny:

Q: anong pinagkaiba ng naghuhubad sa naliligo?
A: ang naghuhubad, nagtatago; ang naliligo nagtatabo.

putek. mas malala pa siya sakin ah. i guess kacornihan runs in the family. it's a sad gene, that corny gene.

meron pa palang tinext sa pinsan ko. natuwa ako eh:

A prince was cursed by a witch that he could only speak one word per year, but if he doesn't speak, he could save the word for the next year. one day, he saw a pretty princess and fell in love with her. he waited for ten years to say "darling, i love you, i would like to marry you". and guess what the princess replied, "Pardon?"

hahaha. ewan natatawa ako. ang sad kasi eh. parang you waited for that perfect moment and somehow, you screw it up. classic. haha. parang ako, i waited for crs, and, well, you know. kas on the loose! bad vibes.

anyway, medyo lahat ng subjects ko ay may exams bukas... shit ang weird ng sentence construction ko a. God bless nalang sakin.

please pray for my Lola Soleng. she passed away two days ago.

2005-12-08T22:14:00.000+08:00
wow ultimate bagal ng blogger ngayon ah. everything's going super slow today... haha. naalala ko yung kanina sa jma tambayan. putek, one minute went on like forever. seryoso. i'm not even kidding.

tomorrow i'll be walking/running/jogging/crawling 4.4 km for UP lakay. shooting stars. i don't even have decent shoes for walking/running/jogging/crawling. plus, it's in conflict with my clc caroling practice (naks naman, dedicated). now when's the auditions for *toooooot* (i'm sworn to secrecy)? i want to audition. i love auditions (uhmm, hinobboy mo ba).

waaah. i'm so bored i can't even blog right. i'd tell you the extent of my boredom but it might be too much for you (i can't even believe i'm doing it) so...

i saw happy-starstrucky crush at casaa, as expected. by the way, he had a haircut (super bagay) and got red highlights (i know...) and i didn't recognize him right away (magdreadful red highlights ka ba naman eh) but soul sister jc (yes, soul sisters na kami) saw happy-starstrucky crush as soon as he was within his peripherals. BUTDENAGEN, happy-starstrucky crush didn't eat there! he bought taho, so i followed him outside to buy taho (i know it's pathetic. haha.). BUTDENAGEN. stupid me positioned myself, uhmm. i can't describe my position, alam niyo na, kapos sa spatial intelligence. basta, i couldn't see him when he walked back towards the AS walk. tsk. susundan ko sana kaya lang ang freaky na eh. haha. so there, happy-starstrucky crush was gone forever. BUTDENAGEN. after artstud 1 (where we observe the art of gay flirting, or just flirting in general), nakita ko ulit si happy-starstrucky crush!!! o c'mon. just when i was about to give up on looking for him, he popped out of nowhere (actually, not out of nowhere exactly, he came from the direction of PHAN, which leads me to think that he's a psych major. oh God, please, sana psych siya!!!). yehehesss! panalo to the nth level! kaya lang... mukhang zhadingazhenzz... although jc wasn't getting "the vibe" from him (unlike Mr. T-bird). well it takes one to know one, and hopefully, he's not one. please lang.

anyway, i just have to mention this: NAKAPASOK NA AKO SA MAIN LIB!!!

thank God for form5s!

yun nga lang hanggang parang lobby lang kasi they require IDs sa loob ng library talaga.

2005-12-06T22:36:00.000+08:00
what is wrong with tagboard??? wala na nga akong comment link, wala pa akong tagboard. mozta naman ang pagiging non-interactive ng blog ko diba.

anyway, i think i know what i'm going to do for my jma dilemma:

i'm gonna keep on doing it until i can't do it anymore. haha. basta bahala na. para naman may masabi akong kaya kong gawin ang isang bagay. i'm never matiyaga enough for anything. sana mapagtiyagaan ko ang rigorous jma app process. God help me. thank You po.

anyway, tomorrow, we have clc caroling practice and then there's the bakbakan. struggle boy.

2005-12-06T20:58:00.000+08:00
walang title yung entries ko kasi walang title bar dito. wala lang, just in case you were wondering.

there a few things i'm pondering on (just 'cause i have absolutely nothing else to think about at this point)...

which is a better mindset towards *insert org here*:

a. sayang naman yung perang pinangbayad ko, itutuloy ko na.

b. nagsayang na nga ako ng pera, sasayangin ko pa ba ang oras at energy ko?

hmmm. i'm so confused. it's like the case of conflicting "truths"; both are very appealing right now. plus my pride is soooo stubbornly high, i can't just quit. well actually i can if this is something easy, but this one is actually posing as a challenge. if it weren't so damn hard and complicated, i would've just dropped it right away. but then again, if it weren't that hard, i wouldn't be so discouraged in the first place.

anyway, that isn't really that relevant right now, because we all know that i don't decide until something happens that forces me to.

so on to something "napapanahon". things are looking up in UP. haha. i see more cute guys this sem than i did the last. they look cleaner and more "starstrucky". haha. i know, much as i taunt starstruck fashion, i do like 'em nice and clean. there's this guy that i saw while i was climbing up the eternal AS stairs. he's cute. super clean, soft features. mighty cute. he's not even hot, just cute. haha. then i saw him again yesterday at casaa. i told jc about him, and it turns out that we're crushing on the same guy. haha. he said "casaa boy" eats at casaa MTh. now ya'll know where to find me at 10am,MTh. haha.

i joined a lot of orgs this sem, and i'm planning to join two more: UP YFC and UP mountaineers (simpler version. haha). i don't even think i'd be active in any of those. God knows how hard it is for me to warm up to new people (it took me almost 3 years for yfc).

good news: i finally paid for a UP ID
bad news: hindi pa rin ako nakakuha.

i swear it's the most stupid thing. i didn't even konw we needed to submit a 2x2 picture before we could get our id. waaaaah. you could just imagine my frustration. on that pivotal moment when i actually mustered up some energy and desire to get an id, i failed. i guess it's just not meant to be. i'd forever be id-less. good bye up lib, i barely knew thee (actually not at all eh. pfft.). worse, i'd never get a discount at max's (and i wanted this sooo bad).

2005-12-05T00:16:00.000+08:00
ang liit ng mundo. sobrang liit 'di na ako makahinga. hindi ako sanay ng ganito. i compartmentalize my social life into little pigeon holes to be sure that people i know won't know other people i know. pero hindi, the walls of my pigeon holes are collapsing, my friends are mingling, and it's out of my control. i hate it. haha. ang selfish eh.

basta. pray for me. i'm getting suffocated. i might just move to uranus. eww. haha.

i can't sleep. must be because of that looooong nap i had.

2005-12-04T19:26:00.001+08:00
whoodeehoO!!! Good vibes. had i decided to blog seven hours earlier (around the time i decided to hybernate and forget) i would've written a long, dragging entry about someone who hurt me a lot this morning. tsk. anyway, like i said, itinulog ko na at ngayo'y good vibes na naman ako.:-)

i remember all the fun things that happened to me yesterday (siempre ihuhuli ko na yaong ultimate)

1. CLC caroling practice
ang galing talaga ni Cel! siya yung nag-arrange nung kakantahin namin (pati nung kakantahin ng cssp people, which i'm not even sure about dahil nang-eavesdrop lang ako). anyway, saksakan ang kataasan ng carol of the bells. help.

2. MCHS fair
in fairness, walang nagbago. haha. just the ferris wheel, which catastrophically, i wasn't able to try. there were still nice, pretty boys whom i'm not interested in anymore (promise. haha) and ubiquitous giggly girls, all clad in their best starstruck outfits. haha. i swear, they all looked the same. the boys were all "preppy-ish" and the girls were all, "bratz-ish". we saw teacher yvette and she paid for our snow cone and caterpillar ride (and my wedding sana, kaya lang walang groom. haha.)

3. Just Like Heaven
i wouldn't normally watch a romantic comedy in a moviehouse because i'm not a fan of the genre (mga pang-dvd sakin), but this one i actually enjoyed. cute. it's about being alone, a concept i am absolutely alien to. haha. quotable quote: "without you, it's like i don't exist." nakanampuch. daig pang love to love sa hirit ah. moral lesson: don't ditch dates.

4. barkada reunion
so as we were walking the length of gateway, we decided to drop by shoe salon (was that it even?). lo and behold, we ran into sandy(krungs, as we fondly call her) and joseph(sep, his barkada nickname). grabe, we haven't seen each other in so long, we just hugged and besoed for all the mall to see. it was so embarrassing. i remember when we used to just go out and have fun (oh how ditzy) until showbiz tear us apart. krungs and sep went off to become starstruck (star circle, whatever) stars, mich decided to be a daughter of Wilma Galvante's (gma big boss), JB became a designer and I, a humble top model. it's sad story. but now we're back together, together. i want to show you... our picture:

Bestfriends for life!

my multiply is slowly becoming active! haha. yeah, slowly, like 6 pictures a day. yehey!

2005-12-02T22:11:00.000+08:00
waiting position.
no shorts, only talls
ang pagdadalaga ni major dooyit
ate! ate!
i hate errands
all glory to that
shit --> bwisit na BFG
nahulugan po ng hair dye
kasi nagtae yung ballpen
wag mong bubuksan ang likod, magsisisi ka

basta andami pang nagpatawa sakin today. nanginginig-nginig pa nga ako eh. whoohoo.

grabe, napaka-ungrateful talaga niyang linchak naming alma mater. to think sobrang in love pa ako sa kanya kaninang umaga. hmph. di kami nakapasok dahil nakashorts si jb. uhmmm. bez, black shorts. hanggang tuhod. at naka-green raulroco/mahal-kong-maynila top pa si jb. tsk. mc. napaka un-fair mo! (yikee, lame attempt sa witty banter).

o sha, next time nalang i'm trying to work my multiply. (yeah, my english is deteriorating)

2005-11-29T19:44:00.000+08:00
my goodness. this is not my day. haha. i'm just a little disappointed because earlier today (around nine am) i wrote on the corner of my handy dandy psych soc notebook that "this is my day." mali eh. siguro natuloy pa kung hindi ko sinulat yun at jininx by doing so.

ay wait, realization. i change my mind. this day has been nice to me. i got a 9/8 and a 7/8 on our chem *insert term here*, which is very lucky, considering that among my classmates, i'm probably the most "lost". come to think of it, i'm always lost. lost sa lessons, lost sa conversation and just literally lost when it comes to directions (my personal favorite). i'm really lucky to have "epiphanies" when i need them. thank You God.

i watched trl "laguna beach special" yesterday and i saw Lo, my favorite LB character. she's really fun, kind of like Paris Hilton, but less stupid, less selfish, less rich, less useless. yuck ang sama. but really, sometimes i feel sorry for Paris. it's like she lived but never lived at all (cheese). ok, some may argue the opposite because she has been to a hundred VIP parties, has done a reality show, has milked a cow, has delivered best selling sex videos... but when you take time to think of what she has accomplished (and not just the spill-over of her parent's wealth) well, she'd amount to nothing. yuck ang sama at ang self-righteous. that's why i don't want to die having only parties, fame and cow milk under my belt. i want to do something worthwhile and unselfish at least a hundred times before i die. siguro nga ginagamit ko lang ito pang-alleviate ng guilt. pero i think it's nice that i feel guilty about not being useful, at least i know my conscience is still there and has not drifted away during one of my daydreaming sessions.

anyway, yun nga. napaisip ako. parang wala pa akong nagagawang maganda. pano kung mamatay na ako? nakakahiya naman.

kaya ang solusyon diyan: maging healthy para di muna mamatay! kakain ako ng marami (kala mo ang onti pa ng kinakain ko sa lagay na 'to eh) para lumakas. bali yun na yun. yun na ang point nitong entry na ito. kumain ng marami. bueno, hasta luego (i'm trying to practice my spanish while it's still fresh.)

merry christmas!

LJ account

stalling

* **** ** **** ******

* **** ** **** ******

wow

lech

80 minutes with 80 alumnae

getting rid of stuff that shouldn't be there

i'm scared

passive-aggressive

PI part 2

mali na eh

:)

nawawala ang page 57 ng manual

yay 2007

christmas 2006

i broke my neck

carolfest

Ayla's birthday

shall we dance

aww.

finally

why i love physics :)

happiness is just 11 units away

ang bait ni Lord

hahahahahahaha

mang-Aya (Dalumpines)

postsecret

howmiged

center stage

my hair

back to glasses

shit i'm going blind

new layout!!!!!!

ayon

ayon

MY YEARBOOK MISTAKES

howkay

ayun eh

ayos

i am unstable

k k k

06-06-06

maneater

sige wag nang magtitle (the summer ender)

girls

jb's birthday

cool kami

cool kami

LAHAT NA NG MALI NASAYO. AT HINDI LANG AKO ANG NAGSASABI.

comm3

pam's house again

black saturday

my maundy thursday

i have a new addiction

fuckin' up reg system

another day at pam's house

lau's haus (yuck pilit)

nakina pam ulit

nako dong

SCORE!

tapos na

one day left

mali eh

pam's burdee

brand spanking new

wow may title bar na. thank God.

EIGHTEEN

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

I'M IN LOVE WITH UP.

I missed my own national tv debut.

* ****

* ****