it's christ's birthday and not mine, but i feel like i'm the one who grew a year older, years and years older even. i felt miserable, and even more miserable that i was miserable on the happiest day of the year (christmas was my holiday, not even my birthday beats christmas). christmas eve was just about as eventful as having my eyebrows done, which was basically the only thing that made the day different from the 364 others (and noche buena of course, but then i always eat a lot late at night so...). christmas day was spent sleeping through the fever. only got up to go to my lolo's sister's house to make pamasko (the make+tagalogword combination sickens me but i just had to). that was it.
i feel so old. like christmas isn't for me anymore. the grown-ups (which apparently include me now) didn't put much effort into making christmas christmasy. we didn't even have a stupid tree. i missed the smell of christmas morning. i fucking lost my sense of smell eh. but i bet there wasn't gonna be that heartwarming smell even if i did have the ability to sense it. there weren't any gifts for the "grown-ups". taena, wala pa kasi akong trabaho, penge namang regalo diyan. i didn't dress up for christmas day because i knew i wasn't going out. when i did go out though (to make pamasko nga), i wore shorts that were apparently too short. i could not believe it. i don't even wear shorts, and the one time i did, it had to be in the province where wearing shorts was exclusive to those who don't look good in them. oo, maganda sakin ang shorts, tae. sorry ah. haha. shit, galit na'ko niyan. it was christmas and it sucks 'cause it doesn't feel like it.
but even if it looks like i was too busy complaining about christmas to actually enjoy the little that could be enjoyed, i was actually reflecting. oo eh, rumereflect ako. karen sent me this christmas greeting that made me realize that i didn't have to get everything i want for christmas. actually, i didn't have to get anything at all. it's not my birthday, it's His, and if anyone should be getting gifts, eating feasts and sniffing christmas air, it's Him. so happy birthday Jesus! i love You.
taena. as i'm typing this, my head is tilted 23 degrees to my right. ang sakit shit yan. minakeupan ko pa nanay ko dahil paparty siya (oo eh) tapos nakatilt lang din ulo ko. mygad. if the pain doesn't go away over the break i'll file for an loa. i refuse to spend the next years of my college life with a tilted head. fuck nagshift lang ako ng weight, natatagtag ulo ko ang sakit. Here are some pictures from Handog yesterday we had the pugad alumni homecoming party. theme's rockstar, pero si dior at si kiel lang ang legit. hahahaha. i had fun. and now my neck's all messed up. Here are some pictures from the Alumni Homecoming it doesn't feel like christmas yet.
so last friday was handog. andaming nangyari sa'kin eh. pero ang mas masakit, yung hindi nangyari (namiss ko ang oblation run at tumakbo ang crush namin ni dada).
i love my friends. they are so supportive. akala mo kung anong great ginawa ko eh. haha. i messed up the choreo and forgot the lyrics and i still got a rose and a bouquet and lots of documentation. i could just imagine the glorious moment when i actually do something great.
thank you TFs ayla and gly for your surprise. nasentipede ako eh. thank you mean girls jb, ivy, dana, lia, jam gladys, you're the greatest, greatest people. PUGAD you are so fine! congratulations to us.
i was in denial and i didn't want to talk about it but ayla says i should or else... grabe ah, parang hindi TF. haha. anyway, she showed me some pictures and in a very pang-hapon-teen-oriented-show way, i looked at each of them while celine dion's "it's all coming back to me now" was blaring at my speakers (oo eh, bumeblare. gotta love celine dion). whooo. tapos biglang "a new day has come" yung nagplay. hahahaha. what a funny, funny thing.
anyway, i've forgiven myself for the mess and i acknowledge the fun i had. like i always tell my tragically regretful friends, it was fun while it lasted. hahaha. akala mo kung ano eh.
i am so bored (even physics problems don't quite do it for me anymore) i've added friends in friendster and gave people testimonials too. ayla's shown me pictures of people i don't know through ym photoshare (the effort eh) and we just found out that jb's kuya's ex is single again.
i just realized my head's so full of secrets, it might just explode on me one day.