Tuesday, November 29, 2005

my goodness. this is not my day. haha. i'm just a little disappointed because earlier today (around nine am) i wrote on the corner of my handy dandy psych soc notebook that "this is my day." mali eh. siguro natuloy pa kung hindi ko sinulat yun at jininx by doing so.

ay wait, realization. i change my mind. this day has been nice to me. i got a 9/8 and a 7/8 on our chem *insert term here*, which is very lucky, considering that among my classmates, i'm probably the most "lost". come to think of it, i'm always lost. lost sa lessons, lost sa conversation and just literally lost when it comes to directions (my personal favorite). i'm really lucky to have "epiphanies" when i need them. thank You God.

i watched trl "laguna beach special" yesterday and i saw Lo, my favorite LB character. she's really fun, kind of like Paris Hilton, but less stupid, less selfish, less rich, less useless. yuck ang sama. but really, sometimes i feel sorry for Paris. it's like she lived but never lived at all (cheese). ok, some may argue the opposite because she has been to a hundred VIP parties, has done a reality show, has milked a cow, has delivered best selling sex videos... but when you take time to think of what she has accomplished (and not just the spill-over of her parent's wealth) well, she'd amount to nothing. yuck ang sama at ang self-righteous. that's why i don't want to die having only parties, fame and cow milk under my belt. i want to do something worthwhile and unselfish at least a hundred times before i die. siguro nga ginagamit ko lang ito pang-alleviate ng guilt. pero i think it's nice that i feel guilty about not being useful, at least i know my conscience is still there and has not drifted away during one of my daydreaming sessions.

anyway, yun nga. napaisip ako. parang wala pa akong nagagawang maganda. pano kung mamatay na ako? nakakahiya naman.

kaya ang solusyon diyan: maging healthy para di muna mamatay! kakain ako ng marami (kala mo ang onti pa ng kinakain ko sa lagay na 'to eh) para lumakas. bali yun na yun. yun na ang point nitong entry na ito. kumain ng marami. bueno, hasta luego (i'm trying to practice my spanish while it's still fresh.)

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Posted 7:44 PM

Sunday, November 27, 2005

HARRY POTTER, BOY WONDER. shit sobrang crush ko talaga to. ang baduy ko.

ivy's YM status: ibuhos na ang tequila sa aking lalamunan upang malunod na ang puso kong nahihirapan bawat patak anong sarap ano ba talagang mas gusto ko? ang shot na to o ang pag-ibig mo?

hayup. can't relate, pero hayup! haha. (see entry below to see why tequila's the ultimate)

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Posted 11:24 PM

earlier tonight, i was having a serious attack of pre-debut anxiety. i was worrying about the venue and the dj and the bartender and the guests and the boyfriend... oops. di pala. and my debut's on february 27. malayu-layo pa. haha. anyway, i'm over it now. as my true friends would know, most (like 90%) of my plans don't get realized. so wag na. baka ma-usog (for you city kids who don't know what usog is, it's like a jinx).

omg. i saw my pictures from kuy's debut. i'm currently hating The Man for doing that to me. kumanta ko. shit. kumanta ako sa debut ng ibang tao. haha. stupid. now i'm definitely singing on my debut. yung mala-diva. lintik lang ang walang special number. haha. what songs do you suggest? the theme's "i'm great and the fact that today's my birthday makes me greater." there. that's pretty easy.

may title na pala akong naiisip for my party:

ISANG GABI NG PAGPUPUGAY SA MAHAL NATING REYNA (or tagapagligtas, whichever's cooler)

i'm drawing inspiration from Corinna's debut. it was really fun and now i feel stupid. haha.

PS if you want to get invited, mag tag ka!

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Posted 10:03 PM

Friday, November 25, 2005

i joined UP PMS (pre-med society). i guess it's a sign. magkaliga kami ni dr. calayan. yahoo! haha. but i think the app process is going to be fun. they're all friendly and fun looking (huh?) and it's the first org i'm applying for so itotodo ko na ang pangangareer nito. actually for the two hours that we were with pms, i was smiling like a pa-impress overachiever with evil plans of toppling over whoever's on top, which of course, wasn't my intention. please, if i wanted to do that, i would've joined sigao-up. once i get to that coveted activism summit, i'd convert all the members into neurotically happy people who couldn't care less about the bedamned state of our country. imagine atom, screaming at the background, helpless, grungier than usual, reminding people how they used to hate every person who happens to have enough money to cheat their way to office. his life's work, crumbling like jennifer love hewitt's sad career. fun! ay shet, crush ko pala siya. i take it back.

anyway, naplano ko na ngang magoverachieve sa aking extra curriculars dahil hindi naman ako marerecognize sa pagsusunog ko ng kilay at ng kung anu-ano pang bagay dahil nga 'di daw pwedeng mag-honor ang walang PE. lecheng bored seniors yan. if you're bored with your senior year (which really shouldn't be happening if you weren't so effing OC and would have had to cram all your requirements on your last year just like everyone else...) then go get some...thing other than PE. pero hayamunanga... mukang nagbabadya naman ang di maipaliwanag (sa parents) na grado sa mga subjects na kinuha ko. lalo na diyan sa linchak na chemistry na yan. major (lab instructor) hates me. i can feel it. nakupu. pati pala kasaysayan. taragis. wazhapening? labonizationalitivity (isang salitang may limang morphemes. ayos may natututunan ako sa ling).

my goodness! ang pangit non ah. it's so caffeine-driven. eh ang kaso di ako nagkape. san galing ang energy level magtype ng ganon?

naisip ko pala. kung mabuting tao ka tapos masama yung mga nangyayari sayo, at yung masasamang tao, puros mabubuti o masasayang bagay ang nararanasan, sapat bang dahilan ito upang naising maging masamang tao nalang? kung hindi ang sagot mo, ayos ka brad. samakatuwid, wala ring saysay na ipagnibugho mo ang mga problema mo sa buhay at isisisi sa Diyos ang sa wari mo'y pagiging "unfair" Niya. hindi naman kasi talaga tamang maging mapagsamantala at halang ang kaluluwa, kaya bakit mo sila kaiinggitan? bakit mo gugustuhin ang buhay na mayroon sila? wag na, uy.

gusto ko talagang kinakausap ang sarili ko.

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Posted 9:19 PM

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

hindi ako kinikilig. nandidiri ako. hindi ako nababaitan. napaplastican ako. hindi ako nacucoolan. napoposeran ako. hindi ako natutuwa. nabibwisit ako.

bakit ako negative pagdating sa mga love life eklavoo na yan? hindi naman hiwalay parents ko. hindi naman ako sawi. hindi naman masama ang mga lalakeng nakapaligid sakin. at lalong hindi naman ako galit sa mundo. kadalasa'y optimistic naman ako, liban lang talaga sa masalimuot na paksang ito. ayos ah, i read that back and it kinda rhymes... o anyway, back to it...

hindi talaga. tibo kaya ako? well hindi dahil wala akong crush na babae at mahilig ako sa lalake (no malice intended). i wonder if i'd ever find a guy that i can be "kilig" over and still feel comfortable with. well as long as he doesn't get all googly- eyed and pathetically quixotic, he'd do.

shit, ang pangit. i can't blog like that. haha. di bagay eh. i tried and failed so please, never mention that to me agiain. anyway, andami kong nakain kanina dahil i have this weird belief that if i stuff myself with as much as my stomach could handle (and my friends know how much that is), then i'd get well. so ayon, kumain ako ng shawarma rice meal with extra shawarma at sangkaterbang pancit. pero heto, may sakit pa rin ako at i've used up two rolls of tissue. malala. yesterday i tried to overdose myself with decolgen but it didn't work. i'm running out of home remedies! help!

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Posted 10:21 PM

oh my Lord. ang sama talaga ng pakiramdam ko. last night, i was practically bedridden, but i had to read that bedamned Kas book (grabe, bakit ba ko nagKas, eh alam ko namang ito ang aking kahinaan?) because my prof's really scary. then when i got to class, she explained everything to us without even asking us questions just to check if we read it. anyway, another learning experience...

i'm in a losing streak. haha. everything that i dreaded/made fun of about UP is happening to me. first of course is that stupid registration when i went home with a bleeding foot and a raging temper. then there was that horrific change-mat experience. then i signed up for an essentially non-PE PE class, which i did not get. then i took english 1 when i knew, i knew that english teachers tend to hate me. then i took Kas 1, when i promised myself that i'd never take any history class. then i took JB's chem class when i absolutely did not want to have it because it was a straight lec-to-lab class. then i got a tres when i used to really wonder how people could get a three in up (yeah, i used to think really highly of up people). i also used to wonder how people who live super near their school could be late, but now, still for an unknown reason, i'm always, always late. ayos ah.

naaawa na talaga ako sa chem lec prof ko. he looks like a sweet mama's boy pa naman. unfortunately, his english is really, really bad. i'm sure he knows what he's doing though, i mean, as long as you do your job right, right? i hope he learns that substance is pronounced in a different way. just one itty-bitty step at a time would do. but really, i promise, once i get better, i'd try to stay awake during his lectures and occasionally ask questions just so he's sure that people are listening.

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Posted 9:24 PM

Sunday, November 20, 2005

i think i'm seriously sick. hindi naman siguro ako
nagiimagine kasi oa na. i keep on losing my balance and every time i try to
sleep or even just to be in a horizontal position, i feel like i'm hung over.
shooting stars. i'm too young and beautiful to die.

anyway, on to the past events...

Ayla's
debut: November 18, 2005, Friday

aww, Ayla's turned eighteen! among the three of us
(Ayla, Glynel and Me) i'm the only one who still isn't legal. i was supposed to
emcee with Kris (guy siya) and Winston, but i really can't (i'm not emcee
material, in spite my being from MC and being a psych student, which, i really
can't see the relevance of), so i just sat there and ate (which is in my
opinion, what social events really are for). anyway, i'm part of the 18 shots,
but they weren't the typical shots that any alcohol-thirsty teenager would want
- they were pictures, which are in any case more fun. so ayon, i gave the guests
a brief "history" of our friendship, which has two versions (ayoko na
ikwento struggle eh). then after the program i went with glynel and her friends
to starbucks. ayos ah, nakalibre kami. then i learned something weird about
myself: i don't talk to strangers, but i go out with them. tsk. haha. anyway,
they were nice and one of them helped me arrive with an eye-opening realization.
this was how it went:

Kuya
Ron: bakit wala pa kayong boyfriend?

Glynel:
ito kasing si Julie, gusto pa gwapo.

Kuya
Ron: bakit, mapapakain ka ba ng kagwapuhan?

Julie:
(to herself) aba, oo nga no.

But then again, i have my parents to feed me. so
anong realization don? wala naman sa sinabi niya. naisip ko lang na guys with
money only have their money to brag about most of the time. so they bank on
that, not on their looks (and we all know how scarce this little attribute is),
not on their brains (let's not even go there), or their character (pfft). i'm
not saying that glynel's friends don't have anything but money, because i'm sure
they're nice people if gly is friends with them (putek, si glynel pa. haha), but
i see that a lot of guys (and girls) put too much value on money. sayang naman.

malayo naman sa masalimuot na usapang pera...

Cara
and Darlene's surprise party: November 19, 2005

ang saya! kumpleto ang niggas! i would have wanted
to narrate the entire thing, but i'm too, ...i can't even think of a worthy
adjective. anyway, we took lots of pictures, but i can't tell you what's behind
our neurotic obsession over taking pictures of our group because to do so would
be rude (haha. samin nalang yun). i noticed that we have matured. yuck, kala mo
kung ano eh. but last night, we had less backstabbing and more sincere talks
about our future, the oddities of college life and just us in general, not so
much about other people anymore. oh and we also drank less. a lot less, which
kind of surprised me, but i can't say it was disappointing. it was, well,
endearing. we waited 'til twelve, then it's Darlene's 18th birthday! speaking of
darlene, she told us about when she got stuck in an elevator when there was a
black out at csb. imagine, 10 minutes in the dark, all alone. putek, di ko kaya
yon. ten claps for darlene!

anyway, i'm eating yan yan and i need to
concentrate on its chocolatey goodness.

PS: if you want me to be really happy on Christmas,
give me a box of yan yan. yun na ang ultimate gift!

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Posted 4:33 PM

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

p>NAPAKA-HOT
NI HARRY POTTER.

may i just say, siya na talaga. siya na ang lalakeng pakakasalan
ko. sobrang compatible namin: gwapo siya, maganda ako (at oo, ako ang may-ari
nitong blog so wag na...); hero siya, heroine ako (ng mga taong stuck with
unwanted company); torpe siya, torpe ako; sumasakit yung noo niya pag malapit si
voldemort, sumasakit ang puson ko pag malapit na ang aking period. see? we're so
much alike. soooo many things in common. haha. i'm mental (yuck, feeling british).

mamuscle na siya. grabe. iba na siya. haha. ang hot ni dan (yeah, we go way
back), parang kailan lang nung mukha pa siyang, well, totoy. now he's just
overall hot. still young, though. pfft. and still british, still lots of time
zones away. still surrounded by his pre-pubescent groupies... waaaaah. i've
always been drawn to english guys... they're so regal, and cultured.

i really, really, really hate those unruly, uncivilized perverts who
shamelessly hoot on defenseless girls on the streets. but what i hate more is
that they actually think that it's a perfectly logical excuse to blame girls for
wearing "revealing" clothes. that's stupid. it's stupid and
disgusting. kaya minsan nagsasawa na akong isiping may pag-asa pa ang pilipinas.
they probably think what they're doing is harmless fun (tae, recreation daw eh)
but their victims really feel violated. ang papangit pa nila eh. tsk.

nako, bad vibes na yan, good vibes pa man din ako ngayon. dahil nga kay
Harry!! kay Daniel!!! shit, di ko na alam kung sino sa kanilang dalawa yung
crush ko.

anyway, ayoko na muna.

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Posted 6:26 PM

Monday, November 14, 2005

yey!!! this is it! my blog:christmas version. salamat sa source! you are very great. i am very thankful. haha. napakasayang magsalita gamit ang payak na wika.

wow. i love this. yep yep! i'm not in full blogging mode tonight, so i'll just do it tomorrow.

teka, gusto ko lang sabihin na:

85% ang passing score namin sa linguistics

this is going to be fun...

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Posted 9:54 PM

Saturday, November 12, 2005

yey!!! may bago na akong layout! and once again, medyo di pa rin siya matino.. kasi naman ako nga ito. haha. don't expect much from someone like me. well at least i'm not as... ok ayoko na magbad comment about peole here dahil nga good vibes ako ngayon. hihihihihi.

anyway, just to give you an idea of how someone deliberately tried to ruin my day through ym (hay, pasalamat ka naaawa ako sayo) here was my status:

don't you dare talk to me that way, you stupid, neanderthal low life...

at

some people should be really thankful i let it go with an ok... buti nalang good vibes ako ngayon.

haha. tsk, people. ewan ko ba. siguro i ruined someone else's day dati, and i'm sorry if i did. at sa taong ito: buti nalang madali akong magpatawad. pasko na eh.

Merry Christmas!!!

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Posted 9:09 PM

testing...

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Posted 9:07 PM